Hi Friend
I went to my first baseball game of the season on July 4th. I had some friends who were going that I got to jump in their mix. It was a good game and we won. I love baseball. It was the sport I could play, growing up. From T-Ball to High School Varsity, I didn’t miss a year. Throughout my career I played second base, shortstop, right field and chatter’er. I excelled at the latter.
In high school some of my classmates were serious about it and quite good. I was average at best, but loved being on the team. Bus rides to away games, after-school practices and the camaraderie during the school day offered an excellent sense of belonging. I had a tendency to make up nicknames for everyone on the team while also relentlessly verbally assaulting opposing team players. It was glorious!
One of my most ridiculous memories was when I was in the 4th grade. I played for Eagle Rubber. It was mostly 5th & 6th graders, but I had gotten drafted because I had potential then. We were facing our rivals who had an amazing 6th grade pitcher, Robbie Stoops, who threw incredibly hard. I was nervous batting. On the second or third pitch he beamed me right in my side, knocking the wind out of me, sending me to the ground.
It hurt.
I must have been gasping for air, because when my coach came out to check on me, he and the umpire decided the best thing for me to do was run the bases backwards 😳 so I could regain oxygen, or something! It was entirely embarrassing. Forty years later and I still remember it. My teammates didn’t harass me until they knew I was going to survive.
I LOVE BEING ON A TEAM!
All of my clients are part of organizations that are filled with teams. Sometimes we’ll talk about the challenges they face… communication issues, personality conflicts, emotional intelligence deficiencies, drama… and I’ll think “Yep, all those crazy dynamics come with being on a team. I’m jealous.” I eventually graft myself into their team.
With Monica coming on two months ago, Sarah and I went from being partners growing Hawks Agency to now being a team. It’s so fun. I love it. I look for ways for the three of us to be together. If I had endless supplies of money, I’d hire more people. The energy and ideas and good times that flow from a healthy team is phenomenal.
I know, I know… most people dread going to team meetings and having to be dependent on others to accomplish their work. The complexity of interdependence, the deterrent of inadequate colleagues and the slowness of entrusting others is a real bother. I’ve never met someone who said “If I did it, it would take longer and not be done as well.” Literally everyone thinks they do stuff faster, better and more effectively.
I suspect that is why tensions mount and frustrations explode. We imagine ourselves the pinnacle of productivity. Friend, you don’t have to write me back assuring me of your gratitude for others. You and I possess this curious strain between arrogance and humility.
A week or two ago, I wrote you and said that it’s possible I need you in my life to BE me. What if being on a team accessed aspects of ourselves that otherwise wouldn’t exist?
We need others…
For Challenge (ideas, language, perspectives)
For Community (shared beliefs, vision, direction)
For Capabilities (skills, talents, gifting)
For Conquests (stand with, fight for, defeat jointly)
For Camaraderie (friendship, togetherness, love)
We often discuss the “I can do it better…” philosophy in regards to delegation and time-management. By not releasing something we get less done and are overwhelmed. What if the really juicy stuff is not about accomplishment at all? What if the friction lies in the phenomenon that parts of us wouldn’t exist without those relationships?
Our society uses the terminology “best version of myself” in regards to our growth. I’m proposing it’s not a “version” but that we don’t exist unless and until other relationships bring certain aspects to life – in our life.
Instigating Ideas…
1. Who frustrates you the most on your team? Be extraordinarily kind to them this week.
2. Give a responsibility you carry to someone else.
3. Jot down a few characteristics you posses that are magnified or diminished in certain relationships.
You Don’t Exist!
(Without Others)
The variety and diversity of people we have around us bring to life characteristics otherwise unavailable. Sometimes it may hurt. You may even have to run around the bases backwards a time or two. But if you’re gonna play in the game and go for a full and fulfilling life, then inviting people in, beside, around and in-front of us is necessary.