Hi Friend,
This is my third week of incorporating a new habit. When I met with my new biz coach, he slid a sheet of paper across the table to me, like some secret offer. He said “if you never talk to me again, but do this one thing, it will change your life.” I’ve gotta tell you… I love bombastic, bold, declarative statements! Especially life changing ones.
What he gave me that day was a simple sheet with a few questions, a few bullet points, a few check boxes and open spaces. It lacked the grandiose appearance of altering life on earth as I know it. Since I don’t use a lot of paper in my life, I recreated it in Evernote, which I use daily. Here it is…
As you can see, it appears to be missing the secret to life’s fulfillment. Or does it? I’ve only focused on the #HighValueActivities. I haven’t gotten in the groove consistently filling everything else out yet. I write the results of my efforts. But I have yet to do a bonus high value activity, I rarely write notes or check my fun meter.
Yet, it’s beginning to make a difference, just after a few weeks. Not so much the results, but in me. Certainly the daily component of it, with accountability has shifted my behaviors. I don’t report to the coach, but Sarah and Monica both know what I’m “supposed” to be doing. Not doing it would violate some level of trust.
EVERY SINGLE DAY
The activities aren’t hard. They don’t take a lot of time. I get to define them. The obligatory repetitiveness however is unnatural. My teenage punk DNA rejects adhering to required activities. Probably why I started my own business 13+ years ago. I love what I do, until someones tell me I HAVE to do something – even something I want to incorporate – then all of a sudden it’s an internal debate.
I recognize the paradoxical immaturity of it. How can I be over 50 and still resist rule-following, particular ones that are for my benefit?! I know the answer. I’ve worked really hard the last two years on it in other areas of my life.
If we want to change behaviors, we must change our identity.
I have an issue, not everyone deals with: I really like myself. I’ve worked with a lot of characters over the last 30 years. Something more true than not, is that people tend NOT to like themselves as much as they do like themselves. They focus on their shortcomings, disappointments, failures and where they wish they were different. I’ve got all of those things, they just don’t take up much of my mind space.
Where do you fall on the Like-Myself-Scale?
I wonder if this is a good versus great issue? For my identity to evolve and for me to bring my #BestDaily will my transformation require an alteration to aspects of my identity I genuinely enjoy? Shoot, is this why people don’t like change??
Yes & Yes & Yes… ugh.
Instigating Ideas…
1. Steal the Daily Focus sheet and see if it changes your life. (Hopefully it’s not copyrighted)
2. I dare you to make a new daily commitment and let someone know you’re doing it.
3. Do whatever you must to make sure you tip the scale to like yourself more.
4. Consider where your good may be due for an upgrade.
I’ve come to appreciate identity change isn’t personality alteration. It’s about clarifying values and aligning with them. Between you and me, I see it almost exactly like I see culture in organizations. Who we are is reflected entirely by what we believe. There is no variance. 100% of our actions are rooted in a belief.
The hard work of identity change is acknowledging our current belief systems. Defining who we’d rather be. Crafting statements that captures our new self. Read and act upon them.
It’s as simple and as hard as that.
Vision for becoming someone I’m currently not is stronger than retaining a characteristic that doesn’t serve me well. Working that into reality just so happens to grind on my soul.
I would love to hear how you stay focused daily and do the most important things. Do you have other tools in your arsenal to keep you on track and making progress regularly? Please Share!