Hi Friend
This may sound a little crazy, seeing how we are in July, but this past week I turned in my taxes to our accountant. I’ve been known to delay or otherwise procrastinate certain kinds of work in the past. Most of it has to do with spreadsheets or specific details requiring accuracy. With owning investment properties, running a business and our personal finances it can be a lot. Fortunately I have been doing it for years, so I have all the templates and structure I need to fill in the data. Unfortunately, I dread it.
Contrast that with shooting a message for an upcoming virtual conference. I’m doing my “I Love Obstacles” message that is built around white water rapids. Instead of just doing a talking head video in my office, this week I went downtown to the OKC Olympic Training rafting course in the Boathouse District. It was 100 degrees and windy – not really conducive for a video shoot. I loved it.
It’s curious how the level of difficulty is dependent upon our disposition. Doing taxes isn’t “hard” yet the internal resistance is fierce. Mustering the energy, focus and willingness to grind through the annual drudgery is a task!
I’ve had scores of people over the years tell me how they could never do what I do, because speaking in front of an audience is so frightening and “hard”. Of course they were speaking to me, so I know the “talking” part of it wasn’t the hard part.
Think about something you consider to be difficult to do. Now think about something you regard as easy. What differentiates? Do you know anyone who thinks exactly the opposite of you concerning those two efforts?
Is everything HARD?
Or
Is everything EASY?
Is it just our knowledge, experience, gifting and skills that enable the differing sensations? Can we change our mind about the difficulty of an undertaking and that change the actual level of friction?
I’ve never had to be concerned about being the smartest person in the room. Though recently a friend did say he thought I was intelligent, which is a word not often used to describe me. I’ve aspired to foster wisdom but regularly come up short. The one attribute I do associate with and fondly identify is persistence.
I’m super grateful I nurtured that characteristic. It makes up for a multitude of deficiencies. In the areas of my life that I’ve found a bit of success it’s primarily related to my ability to persist. Also, his twin brother tenacity gets equal credit. The difference between the two is that persistence does the same thing over and over and over, whereas tenaciousness incorporates new information, making new decisions, attempting new ways to accomplish the original pursuit.
However, neither of those make the objective less hard.
I’m back in the book, Thinking Fast and Slow. This time I’m listening to it, not reading it. So my mind is on the things in our mind. Thus my query: Can we make hard things easy simply be rearranging our thoughts about them? If I fashioned a story about taxes that appealed to me, would that make the undertaking easier?
You may be familiar with the phrase popularized by Brené Brown, “The story I’m making up” which has also been a part of Crucial Conversations as “The story I’m telling myself is…” when it comes to relationship scenarios. We ascribe multiple meanings, both positive and negative, even extremely so, with one action or inaction by another human being. Without articulating that story out loud, we don’t get confirmation of its validity and we’re left with our own interpretation, which frequently is erroneous.
Is it possible the story we’re telling ourself about ourself or the grim responsibility is faulty?
“I’m not good at this”
“This is going to take forever”
“I can’t do it”
“It’s complex and I don’t understand”
“This is so hard”
What if we asked “What story does someone who finds this task easy, tell themselves?” Of course we immediately disassociate who we are versus who they are, in light of strengths and capacities. But what if simply locating the story of easy created a new perspective for us? The task may actually be arduous. However, isn’t it the story we tell ourselves about it that causes us to procrastinate, delay, complain and do it poorly, with justification?
Instigating Ideas
1. Pick a hard task and convert it to easy.
2. Write out the story you tell yourself about a difficult assignment.
3. What’s a characteristic you’ve nurtured that serves you well?
4. Read a book.
Even in self-doubt the story of easy can generate plausibility. It may be we search for an enjoyable aspect, which lessens the severity of our resistance. Shooting an on-location video or speaking on a stage may actually be hard. I don’t know, because I enjoy them so much!
I dare you to believe something you’re convinced is too hard for you, is actually possible and enjoyable. I would love to hear how you find a story that lets you see such a revelation. Please Share.