Hi Friend
Well, it happened. I became filled with gratitude and stuffed with joy his week. I didn’t get much work done but had a very memorable holiday. Each day generated multiple memorable moments. In our Monday marriage small group we talked about emotions and commitment. Our host couple had a Chantilly cake in disguise. There was loads of laughter and powerful conversations.
Tuesday through Friday had us at the surgery center, grocery store (3x in one day), feasting with kids, joining in with friends, watching football, going to church, scoring Black Friday technology deals and then I flew out late Friday night. This morning, I’m sitting in a coffee shop in Chicago, awaiting the arrival of my children. We’ll have 30 hours of goodness together.
Here by myself, I can pause and consider my gratitude. What do I think I am grateful for? What do I say I am grateful for? And what evidence indicates my gratitude. I prefer to strictly reflect on the week I just lived as I generate these words and ideas for you. When it comes to ponderings of thankfulness, the scope seems to incorporate the entire year. It could also be since we’re in the final lap, my mind can’t help but grab hold of the whole of 2024. What.A.Year
Gratefulness is stirred from our relationships, experiences, extended grace and mercy, return on efforts, learning, new sensations and gifts. Of course, we can determine to cultivate it in tragedy, difficulty, hard challenges, the unexpected, pain and loss. Gratitude can be accessed from any place on the emotional spectrum, if we so choose.
DUALITY OF REALITY
Being grateful for the unwanted is the gift of wisdom. Who is thankful when sorrowful? Who writes a thank-you note to someone who inflicted pain? Who counts their blessings of hardships? I know the philosophy about not being grateful FOR the difficulty but having gratitude IN THE MIDST of it. What if we decided to actually be thankful for the pain?
I’ve got a fabulous mom and two stellar brothers. It’s easy for me to be grateful for them. I’ve encountered numerous adults who have strained relationships with their siblings or parents. It’s a stressor and generator of sadness. Is there an opportunity to be grateful for dissonance? Is gratitude a choice or consequence? Can we be sad and appreciative? Yes, Yes, Yes.
DIMENSIONS OF REALITY
This holiday season gives us each the chance to encounter our biggest emotions. Memories, traditions, annual interactions, what was, what is and what might be… all land with a heart thud in the midst of preparations, gatherings and our alone moments. Every hurt, disappointment, regret, acts as an invitation for us to infuse gratitude into our emotional pool. It’s like chlorine removing the toxins.
Not to sound too weird, but choosing gratitude FOR the painful scenarios enables us to live life from a different dimension.
… “Thank you for rejecting me, it’s causing me to shore up security in my own identity.’
… “Thank you for the loss, it’s enabling me to magnify joy in what I still have.”
… “Thank you for disappointing me, it’s given me the chance to be much more mindful of where I’m lacking integrity.”
Sincerely choosing gratitude, opens up our minds and hearts to entirely new realities, that we just can’t see without it.
Instigating Ideas…
1. Get alone to reflect on your genuine gratitude.
2. While embracing all of your emotions, consider dousing gratitude on them.
3. Target a specific pain with specific gratitude.
The dimension of gratitude isn’t a euphemism for toxic positivity. It’s an opportunity for us to recognize our own ability to access peace in our soul, completely undetermined by external stimuli. The disruption of disappointment can deliberately dominate our thoughts. Gratefulness is a fierce foe that cuts through the fog of hurt creating a space for joy.
DIFFERENT REALITY
Next to humility, gratitude is the most powerful human force we can choose to apply to ourselves. It literally enables us to live a different reality. Ascribing the reasons you are thankful for a painful scenario is necessary. A thin platitude of “I’m grateful for _______” is not enough. Why are you and what can come from it?
It’s that About/For trick we spoke of last month. When we make the negative situation ABOUT us, we wallow in sorrow. Gratitude empowers us to consider what’s FOR us in it. Answering that strengthens our becoming.
I hope this week you consciously foster intentional gratefulness in your most trying situations and relationships. Accessing this dimension will open other possibilities, currently unseen.