Hi Friend
This week has been another seven days of working on some things I’ve never done before, putting together an entirely new message and navigating some frustrations. In my attempts to fashion something I haven’t before, I had to call upon three different people for advice. Then a random conversation with a friend at church added to its creation.
We interrupt this writing, because on this early Saturday morning I just got a call from my daughter who was having lunch by herself in Venice. She is studying abroad this semester in Madrid and living a dream life. On top of that she’s killing it in her sculpture/art class. She may have to move there permanently to become a starving artist.
As you know, when I visited her, we went to Paris. As of today, she’s been to: Barcelona, Budapest, London, Amsterdam, Prague, Dublin, Majorca, Valencia, Venice and she’s taking an overnight bus to Rome this evening. Her brother is visiting her next week and they’re going to Lisbon. Then her mom joins her at the end of the semester for a 9-day whirlwind trip through Denmark, Norway and Sweden.
She’s been with friends and by herself. In Dublin she spent a couple hours in a recording studio where U2 records. In Valencia she slept on an AirBnB boat. When I just spoke to her she was sitting in an outdoor cafe having pasta. That just feels right.
MAKE THE MOST
When my kids were younger, I took them to school frequently. I love the drop off (and the pick up). Every day I would say to them “Today is the best day of your life. Live it, love it and make the most of it!” It was an annoying dad thing to say and of course I believed it… and of course they grunted and exited the car.
One of our family values was “make the most“. It wasn’t written anywhere, but every vacation we took, we were up early, covered a lot of territory and when we left that city, didn’t need to return because we’d conquered it.
Man, I want that in all of life, not just vacations. Don’t you?
STRENGTH/WEAKNESS
In StrengthFinders, my first trait is “maximizer“. Go figure. Do you know your primary strengths? Not necessarily through Gallup’s definition, but in general? It’s interesting how our strongest natural attributes are one side of the coin and our most frustrating persistent weaknesses are on the other. They can’t be separated. That’s why personal growth is required until the day we die.
For a few years I’ve wanted to create a #SucksFinders quiz. Ask real questions about weaknesses and then when it gives you the results it just says, “you suck.” I thought it was funny. Anyone I ever shared it with, suggested no one else would find it as humorous as me and might not get the joke. We humans get a little defensive and sensitive about our areas of suckage.
It’s by design. Having our strengths and weaknesses permanently connected, offers us the chance for humility. Unfortunately, shame, insecurity and embarrassment capitalize on it.
Instigating Ideas…
1. Share with someone a place you want to visit and start making plans!
2. Write down your top three strengths and their corresponding weaknesses.
3. If your kids are out of the house call them.
The flip side of maximizer is super impatient. Because I tend to value efficiency, when I encounter inefficiencies, I can quickly become agitated. Thankfully I don’t outwardly express it… much. When I’m at a conference and the lunch line is going slow, in the agony of waiting, I generate at least three other ways it could have been set up to get us through faster. Even if I’m enjoying a conversation with someone as we wait, I can be distracted by these kinds of thoughts.
COMPARISON
One of the ways you and I avoid regarding our weaknesses equally to our strengths, is comparison. “At least I’m not _____________ like so-&-so.” (Fill in the blank with someone’s weakness). It temporarily gives a false sense of relief. Nothing good for us comes from comparison.
The only good comparison is how we have progressed in mitigating the destructiveness of our weaknesses over time. Do they have less of a negative impact on us internally and externally now, then they use to? That’s our life’s work.
I hope this week you are conscious of both your strengths and weaknesses, leaning into each for the sake of what they offer us. Humbly excelling is a rather lovely way to engage life!