Hi Friend
It is nice to be home. I’ve slept in hotel rooms several nights these last two weeks. They’ve all been really great rooms, but nothing compares to my own bed. This past week I was back in South Dakota. It was my second year with Pioneer Bank and Trust. I was reminded how I got selected to be their speaker. Lyndsay flew to Coeur d’Alene to watch me present for another client. They’re the only group who has ever vetted me in person.
On my flight there I passed my first kidney stone. It was the most excruciating experience I can recall having. I sweat, writhed, and twisted in my seat. I stood up a couple of times. I thought I might pass out because I just didn’t know what to do with the pain in my body. Then after about an hour, it stopped. I got chills. I didn’t know what had happened.
When I landed I went to the Black Hills Urgent Care. After a conversation and peeing in a cup, it was evident I had passed a kidney stone. I don’t recommend it.
I am in a season where the unexpected keeps occurring. As an optimist, I expect good things. When the contrary appears, I’m surprised and befuddled. I also start looking for what good can come from it. Thankfully, I’m not a victim nor do I let the surprises rearrange my beliefs. I do understand how people can get jaded. Look at that, I have empathy for cynics. #SomethingPositive
I’m actually fond of saying “expect the unexpected” when it comes to me. I’m predictably willing to be spontaneous and open to adventure. I generally don’t pre-plan anything. However, I randomly find myself in surprising scenarios full of wonder and delight.
The Unanticipated Confronts Us
I like confrontation. I used to call it “pro-frontation” because I would say “only positive things come from dealing with people and situations directly.” I couldn’t get a lot of buy-in from the people on my team. 😆 Inherently most humans prefer to avoid confrontation. There’s something innate about not putting ourselves in uncomfortable, awkward, unpredictable situations with another human.
I attribute it to the friction in our souls. A mix of our own self-doubt, plus fear of response, multiplied by concerns of accuracy, makes us gun-shy to enter the dialog. I’ve always perceived it as a discovery conversation, not an accusatory one. That small perspective shift eliminates the fear element.
Once the unknown no longer makes us afraid, we’re empowered to venture into conversations and places never before dared.
The Rise & Fall of Expectations
Satisfaction and disappointment are the two primary emotions attached to expectations. At work, in relationships, with ourselves – wherever we’ve set them we’ve built a future room that will be filled with one of those two attributes. The fewer expectations we have, the more surprising yurts pop up, being immediately furnished with sensations, positive and negative, as they occur in real-time. It’s startling.
Some people don’t like surprises. I love them! Life is full of astonishment. Designing it in a way – with few anticipations – creates the likelihood that more wonders will be revealed. Literally, from the weather to human encounters to environments we thrive in, all provide elements to generate joy or produce sorrow. In either, gratitude equalizes the impact.
Instigating Ideas
1. How do you navigate the unexpected?
2. Do you lean in or away from confrontation?
3. How few expectations could you hold?
I certainly didn’t expect to have a kidney stone tear through my ureter at 36,000 feet in the air. It was agonizingly exhilarating. Quite the sensation! One I wish I hadn’t experienced. But now I’ve got a story. If life is truly made up of memorable moments, I’m cataloging quite a few.
I also didn’t expect to be staying across the street from an amazing trail that would take me to the top of an overlook, that literally brought me onto a divine perch. I was overlooking Deadwood to one side and on the other side, beautiful hills, trees, and prairies. Entirely unexpected and completely rejuvenating.
Both confronted me with who and how I was going to be in those moments. I like who I turned out to be in both of them. #ProFrontation
I would love to hear how you have positioned yourself in a relationship with expectations? Do you need more or less and do they serve you well? Please Share!