Hi Friend
This week has been a long one. Thankfully it’s been a great one! I was in Las Vegas from Sunday through Wednesday. I once again got to speak at the National SHRM conference. I did a message called “Climb From Insecurity to Confidence.” As you know I’m always using analogies. This one was built around my 14’er climb of Mt. Yale last year.
The SHRM conference is ginormous. There were 25,000 people attending, over 300 speakers and miles of hallways. Of course I have loads of friends who gather all in this place, so that was incredibly fun. Janet Jackson performed one night. There were some amazing keynote speakers and the production was killer.
While I was doing that, Monica was back here kicking off a training series for our consulting project. When I returned I got to do two of them myself. The opportunities we have are incredibly rewarding. What’s cool is that each new collaboration we enter, we meet amazing people and genuinely make new friends.
Whether it’s the client contact or someone in the audience, forming new bonds is meaningful. At the SHRM conference a young lady came up to me with tears in her eyes talking about how her whole life she’s been plagued with insecurities, but she’s consciously changing that story for her kids. Listening to her was moving.
It’s Always the People
I had the most divinely random encounter in the speakers lounge. It’s not a glamorous set up, but it is a nice place to get away for a few minutes. While I was there another gentleman started talking to me. He asked me questions about my speaking topics and told me his.
Have you ever been chatting and think “It feels like this conversation is about over.” I felt that, but then he kindly asked “How can I help you?” It’s such sincere gesture, but the thought that always pops into my mind is “Can you please help me get more business?” Unexpectedly I said “I’m stuck writing my book. Can you help with that?”
We talked about it for a few minutes and he concluded with “You just need to do what your message says and own it!” He also told me “NO ONE NEEDS YOUR BOOK.” It was the best line I heard all conference. He gave me a practical suggestion, that I haven’t implemented yet, but love.
Nobody Needs Your Thing
It might sound insulting or harsh, it was not. It was a face-to-face meeting with reality. Most everyone in my industry writes a book for credibility, marketing and to land more keynotes. I get that, but when I’ve tried tapping into those reasons, I haven’t been motivated. His message was to forget all that & only write the book for me. Until I NEED IT, it wouldn’t be great anyhow!
It’s the simple revelation of external motivation vs. internal. When something is burning inside of us, we can’t stop. If it’s primarily something we do for others, we might start, but won’t finish.
Instigating Ideas…
1. Go to an in-person conference and soak up the humanity.
2. Talk to a stranger this week (in a safe setting).
3. Take inventory in a place you’re stuck and consider your motivations.
4. Is there a book in you, that needs to come out?
Is the thing you’re doing because of an obligation to yourself or to someone else? Being obligated creates a compelling story in our minds. What do we owe to others and what do we owe to ourselves? Have you ever done something for someone else’s sake and they disregarded, ignored or even responded with contempt? The rejection is painful & creates a cycle of trying harder.
Obligate Yourself
However, when we’re living aligned with our values, purpose and identity when someone responds this way, it’s barely a blip on the radar because they’re not our motivation. Have you ever considered that the people you’ve thought are mean and judgmental towards you are only perceived that way because YOU obligated yourself to them instead of yourself?
What if our internal motivation enabled us to redefine another’s external actions, words and responses?
I hope this week you live from a place that lights you up, engages all your sense and instigates your heart!