Hi Friend
I traveled from coast-to-coast this week. Started out Monday in Minnesota, Wednesday in the Great Northwest and finished Friday in Georgia. While on Tuesday I was actually on-site here in Oklahoma City with a client. All be it, outside in the parking garage. I miss meeting people face-to-face. I miss generating reciprocating energy with the audience. I miss seeing new parts of the world.
I wish I could say I don’t miss traveling. It’s usually the painful part of the process getting somewhere. Airplanes delayed, boarding and exiting congested, people with drama and time seems to slow waaaaaaay down. But I do miss it! It’s a strange exit from reality, entering the airport. The hustle and bustle, the anticipation, the immediate proximity; for a guy who likes people, I can find pure delight in the experience.
Who knew I actually liked the travel? When I was in it weekly, I wouldn’t complain, but I would have bouts of frustration and whatever the opposite of anticipation is. Something about the process wore on my soul. Some of my friends and clients have imagined I like flying because it puts me around people I can interact with for hours.
They are surprised to find out, I put on my headphones and literally speak to no one. You might imagine because I’m an extravert I seize the forced community opportunity. I don’t. It’s a decompression time, both coming and going. A zen escape with Sting & Shaggy, the Killers or the Violent Femmes blasting in my ears, creating a soundtrack to that existence.
Honestly, what I like least about flying is the waiting.
Waiting takes a lot of work!
The idea of waiting seems passive. How hard can it be to simply sit until you’re told to board? I had actually started getting decent at it in the last two years, but now with this disruption, I suspect I’ll have to develop those chops all over again.
Wait.
Did you know that waiting is a skill? A talent? A capacity that can be developed and strengthened? I used to think that those who could wait well were some sort of freaks with super powers. I mean WHO LIKES TO WAIT?? From red lights to grocery store lines to entering sporting events or concerts – it seems unnatural.
Wait.
In many cases the effort exerted to wait is equal to or greater than the effort to do. Because we lack structure, instructions or understanding ongoing waiting drains us more quickly and thoroughly. Have you ever found yourself frustrated with someone because they were complaining about waiting and you thought “You’re literally doing nothing!”
Wait.
Have you had discussions with anyone about their ability to wait? I imagine not. We all do it. Quite regularly and consistently, yet it’s an unspoken tribulation we go through alone; though complained about frequently! Ever taken a class or watched a training? Certainly meditation, yoga and the mental arts slow us down and give us tools to focus on heart rate and external stimuli. But I’m saying have you ever said to someone “I admire how you wait.”
Wait.
From what I can tell being a great wait’er is a combination of managing three things:
Expectations
Imagination
Attention
Readjusting my expectation was one of the greatest tools I used in airports. I recall days gone by where I thought the designated time to depart and arrive were accurate. I was silly. Zero percent of the time now do I believe those numbers to be true.
When waiting, I would imagine what would happen when I missed the connecting flight. Or where I’d get stuck sleeping. Or how I’d do at the event because of travel fatigue. As an optimist, airports test the lengths I’m capable of envisioning positively. Fear tries to hijack it.
Being distracted doesn’t lessen the emotional exhaustion that accrues. Looking at the clock every three minutes wearies as well. Understanding how to direct our attention takes enormous discipline.
Where do you need to manage Expectations, Imagination & Attention differently?
At home, at work, with people we know and those we don’t what if we became experts at waiting? What if our disappointments and frustrations were not because of some person or situation, but because we lacked the ability to wait? How would life be different if we looked forward to waiting? If we believed that in the waiting there was something in-and-around us happening more effectively than the doing could ever produce?
That’s a contrary thought to every fiber of my being. 🙃
Waiting is an act of faith.
Waiting is an expression of humility.
Waiting gives others space.
Waiting opens new possibilities.
Waiting allows for the unimaginable.
Instigating Ideas
1. Identify where you least like to wait.
2. Which of the three is hardest for you to manage?
3. Do you know someone who waits well? Discover how.
The pace of life gets faster and faster. Time remains constant, yet what we try to accomplish within it is rapidly accelerated. Waiting seems counterintuitive to every productive bone in my body. Yet when done well, it doesn’t just change my experience it changes me (& you).
I’m actually flying next week. I’m so excited about it, I’m certain I’ll wait poorly. But I’ll get the opportunity to flex those waiting muscles.
I dare you to examine a habitual impatience in your life and commit to a waiting-work-out regimen. I would love to hear what location you find yourself waiting poorly (car, work, store, etc) and what steps you take to manage your expectations, imagination and attention? Please share.