Hi Friend
Just like that, the two conferences are over. After I worked all day yesterday, I drove 10 hours so I could be back in my own bed. When I arrived, my 5 hour energy drink was still activated so I unloaded the van and scrolled TikTok for a bit. It was almost 2am before I fell asleep. I never stay up that late. But there’s something satisfying about completing a big task, and I guess I just wanted to remain in it for another moment.
On the drive home, I talked with a client who we’re producing a virtual conference for and the date changed from July to June. So I’m right back in a deadline driven scenario to make magic happen. I love it! I also, love that when I was in Baton Rouge this week, I ran 4 miles along the Mississippi River. It’s majestic.
When I graduated high school my best friend and I schemed to canoe the Mississippi. We were going to start at the Ohio river and make our way over and down. It’s a three month journey. We didn’t do it then but 4 years later, we were back on it and shockingly my work at the time gave me a three month leave to go do it.
I moved out of my apartment and into the pool house of a friends mom to save money. I started working out consistently. It was 1992. Six months before we were set to leave, I got an opportunity to join an organization that I believed was part of my calling and future. But if I took the job, I couldn’t do the trip. I was vexed! It felt like a “once-in-a-lifetime” opportunity to conquer the Great River versus moving towards the imagined future I saw for myself.
I chose the future and the river dream died. So when I see her in person, I like to imagine us on it. I can stand on the river bank and envision us floating by. Thankfully, I have no regrets. I’m grateful for my decision.
Choosing the Future Over the Past Wins Every Time!
Knowing when something is “the past” and determining to let it go is the tricky part. Right up until the time I made the decision, it felt like that trip could’ve been my future. It had been on my mind for years. The stars seemed aligned for it to happen. Yet when the possibility of a more meaningful dream arose, that aspiration had to be released.
How do we know when to let a dream die?
Purpose vs Pleasure
Progress vs Remaining
Hope vs Despair
Acceptance vs Denial
Long Term vs Short Term
When we hold on to an idea for a long time it integrates into our imagination as part of our identity. Terminating it from our options list is literally a death, because how we see ourself must change. What’s amazing is when that option is removed, entirely new possibilities spring forth that we didn’t consider before. We see ourselves in the future differently.
What we also realize is how entangled we become when holding onto something that is no longer going to serve us in the future. Even if it’s just in our minds. Or especially if it’s just in our minds. I’ve been working on changing old habits, patterns, thoughts, actions and beliefs this past year. I’ve ramped it up more so in the last couple of months. It takes daily diligence.
Sometimes we can think “well, I don’t have to kill it, I’ll just let it linger as a contingency.” Before we know it, we’ll find ourselves saying things like “I always wanted to ________” or “I had hoped I could go to ________” or “I wish I would have found a way to _______”. All of that adds up to living disappointed, frustrated and looking backwards.
Instigating Ideas
1. Are you choosing the past over your future in some area? Decide differently.
2. Are abandoned dreams lingering in your soul causing random irritants? Let.Them.Go.Permanently
3. Are you in denial about something from your past? Tell someone.
4. What’s a childhood dream that you are holding onto and hoping will be realized one day?
The joy of killing off an imagination is that then it has no ability to become a regret. When I stand on that river bank, I don’t think “oh man, I wish someday I would’ve gotten around to that.” Nope, that dream is dead. I can look at the river and appreciate all her beauty and envision what it might have been like to do it, but with no remorse.
Friend, it’s hard to determine when to bring something to a conclusion or to double-down and try to make it happen. Whichever we choose impacts our future and our identity.
I would love to hear how you’ve made decisions around letting go of a dream? Have you held onto something past its expiration date hoping to revive it, only to have it clog your forward progress?