Integrity Violated

Hi Friend

Last Monday I finally turned in my 2020 taxes to my accountant. In Oklahoma the deadline had been extended to June 15th because of some natural disaster we had earlier in the year. Of course, she still had to file an extension for her to take all my efforts and put them in an orderly form, acceptable to government. I also redefined how my morning routines are shown on my calendar. I made it one big block of time instead of defining each item.

Actually, my whole approach to my calendar is going under revision. I have been known to put things on my calendar and then not actually do them. 😳 My taxes are a good example of that. For the last two months I would place a block on a Saturday or a few week nights and then somehow find something else to do when that time arrived.

Because there was no immediate consequence it was easy for me to justify. I can do the same thing with some of my work. Because it’s my business and no one is placing external demands on me, I have a knack for sliding timelines and resetting expectations whenever necessary.

What’s wild is it really doesn’t seem to matter. My lines are rarely dead. They seem to be pretty squishy actually. Because I’ve made it this far in my business (and life) I have an assurance that I’ll eventually get to it, it will eventually get done and the results will eventually be impacting. Which is weirdly enabling and satisfying.

However, it is also haunting. When I place something on my calendar and don’t do it, immediately prime mind-space is reserved to remind me regularly that thing needs to be done. This is why some people love crossing off their checklist because it releases mental real estate.

Undone commitments spread malaise across all remaining obligations!

What’s difficult is I’ve nurtured a skill for carrying multiple items that “need to be done”. There are no awards for mastering bad habits, unfortunately. I’m conscious of this trait. I’ll routinely ask myself “Why are you like this?”and offer a little Nike self talk “Just do it!” I don’t even have to have something else I’m doing in it’s place. It’s this weird inner rebellion. It’s certainly childish. And yet it persists.

Do you have a strong ability to avoid or procrastinate in a habitual way?

Contrarily I’ve enacted a consistent morning routine the past 5 months which is why I think my task-delay-talent seems magnified. Making and keeping commitments just to myself releases a positive momentum that challenges these areas of self-accepted slack. It’s elevated my inaction from being frivolous deferment to a violation of integrity. That’s a BIG DIFFERENCE!

I hadn’t exalted a calendar item to a place of sacred commitment. I could easily dismiss not doing it by minimizing the consequence.

WHAT DOES IT MATTER?

Just a month ago, I would say it matters very little because I ultimately get to them. But looking through the lens of integrity I find entirely different answers. I’m so good at minimizing significance in these matters that to combat it I printed out that phrase and taped it to my wall, so I’m consciously answering that question dailyIn every area of my life. I’ve gone so far as to write statements of matter and read through them in the morning. Again, probably why my calendar items have gained weight.

Why do the decisions you make and the actions you take, matter?
When you procrastinate or postpone are there real consequences?

Excuses have a weaselly way of sliding into our internal dialog. Having pre-defined responses rehearsed repels remarkably.

Instigating Ideas…
1. Create a list of the reasons you offer when procrastinating.
2. Write down one habit you want to break and one you want to initiate.
3. Share with someone a timeline you plan to keep.

I am grateful Sarah and Monica are on the team. Having people counting on us is one of the primary reasons we adhere to our commitments. There are others in my life I deeply care about and who care about me. Being able to let them know I’m making and keeping commitments big or small, related or unrelated, strengthens our relationship.

The permeating affect of integrity upheld produces a net gain across all areas of our life.

Since Monday I haven’t thought about my taxes. Prior to Monday, literally every day they would cross my mind in some fashion. Incomplete obligations fatigue our soul. When we break trust with ourself, diminishing its meaning, we shrink our capacity. Doing what we say we will do creates freedom.

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