Hi Friend
This week finally started to feel like normal. February has not been exactly what I had anticipated going into it. Though there were several unexpected challenges, I’m disappointed in how I’ve navigated overall. I’m aware of self-grace, care, mercy etc. I’m not being overly hard on myself, I’m recognizing out loud I wish I had done better.
On Tuesday night I got to see the Boss. I’ve never been a huge Bruce Springsteen fan. The last cassette of his I owned was Born in the USA. It was 1984. I was transitioning to Oingo Boingo, Devo, Depeche Mode and so on, so Bruce didn’t really fit any more. Of course I’ve heard of his legendary shows, so when I got invited to go, I absolutely jumped at it!
There was no opening act. It started at 7:40p and ended at 10:45p. They didn’t leave the stage for the encore. They came to the front, took a bow then went back to their instruments and started up the encore section. It was wild. The man is 73 years old and full of gas. I was far away from the stage but still felt his energy. I was surprised at how much I loved the show!
I literally only knew 4 or 5 songs. What I had no idea about was that the man exudes joy. That was the dominant trait that persistently was on display. It’s a bit ironic because when he sings he regular squishes his face in a bit of a painful contortion. In every song though he had fun, loved his bandmates (there were 17 on stage) and gave everything he had. He was completely engaging!
What Word Describes You?
This week Monica recorded a podcast. She was asked how her friends would describe her. The first thing she said was “nice“. I’ve been harassing her ever since. Monica is many many things. I have several adjectives to describe her. I respect and admire the woman she is… but “nice” is not a word I’d ever consider in describing her. (Granted she is kind, thoughtful, caring, etc… but nice is just too thin of word to offer as an accurate attribute.)
It matters.
The language we ascribe to consider ourself impacts us tremendously. I’m very conscious that if I were to be summed up in a word, it would be energy. I live it. I hear it. I experience it. Daily. I’ve got natural juju, endowed by the grace of God to live an animated, exhilarated, vibrantly dynamic existence. I’m grateful.
Of course, you and I don’t know the words we’re self-assigning within our thought world. We know how individuals have words stuck in them that someone they loved deposited a long time ago, whether positive or negative. However, I’ve found we also regularly generatephrases, words, descriptors about ourself that shape our very being. What immediately comes to mind when you think of your designations?
Unfortunately, negative terms dominate the positive ones.
How do you make sure you are being accurate and aspirational in describing yourself? I’ve got an “Identity Document” that contains 15 different phrases I read about myself. They all start with “I’m the kind of person who…” If you’ve been getting this letter for a while, you know I generated that after reading Atomic Habits. Even as a proficient optimist, I have to be continually mindful of how I’m defining myself.
Instigating Ideas…
1. How do you describe yourself to others? To yourself? Are they different?
2. Go to a concert! Live music is the best.
3. What trait(s) would you like to incorporate into your identity? What’s stopping you?
4. Ask someone to describe you with one word.
I’ve got a friend doing a deep dive on their identity. Who they were, who they are, who they are committed to be. It’s literally all about the words. Obviously they have to align with actions, but so much transpires in our thought world that produces or prohibits our outer existence. If we get the inner-description wrong and believe it, we wreak havoc and pain on so many!
Tramps like us, baby we were born to run…
The internal ethos leaks out. Taking the time to do an inventory of our identity, intentionally discovering, describing and defining ourselves with specific wordscould be the best gift we give ourselves this year. Extracting terminology that limits, hinders and minimizes us is necessary if we desire a fulfilling, meaningful life.
I hope this week you are hyper-conscious of the words banging around your thought world. You deserve the most accurate, robust, powerful words to describe yourself. Friend, you are so much more than nice…