Hi Friend
Last week I did something I’ve never done before. I ventured into an online public smear campaign. It was so strange and confirmed why I prefer to deal with people directly and privately. To be clear, I didn’t do the smearing (though that seems up for debate). 😳 It’s a rather convoluted tale, but the gist is a person publicly said they were going to privately defame a friend and colleague of mine. Then confirmed they did.
It was more than surprising to my friend. He was concerned about the impact it would have on his business and reputation. In my typical approach, I was like “just ignore that person. Who cares what they say? And those who listen aren’t your people anyhow.” In an effort to defend, honor and console my friend I took the drastic step of clarifying a few innuendos and contributing some facts.
It produced a mixed bag of responses, publicly and privately. I certainly learned from it. As you would expect, it did nothing to open the hearts and minds on the side of the defamer. Of course, that wasn’t the intention. My primary motive was to let my friend know I had his back and was willing to do something about it.
My younger brother assured me it was a bad bad bad move for my business. 🙃 He’s more familiar with the world of online entanglements than I am. I heeded his advice and removed the post after it lived online for three days. I don’t really do drama and wasn’t interested in facilitating public disputes. My take-away from it was:
Some do, some teach, those without capacity for either, criticize.
Like cancel-culture though, if my only effort is towards assailing others, it leaves little room for my own growth. An even better take-away is that I have had several out-of-body experiences this week. Well maybe just out-of-mind. I’ve been examining my own thinking process in real time.
I like the way I think. It’s been an asset for a majority of my life. However, It’s also caused lots of pain and heartache. It’s enabled me to become who I wasn’t. Curiously both positive and negative. I’m sure you’re familiar with tropes, proverbs and sayings about how our thoughts lead to what our life becomes. They’re both cautionary and inspirational in their telling.
It typically infers WHAT we dwell on as opposed to HOW we dwell on it. If we cater negative self-talk, coddle fear and consume defeat our words, attitudes and actions clearly reveal it. Likewise, if positivity, faith and achievement are the content driving our neural blips that also appears in our demeanor and conduct.
Bad soul math get us!
I’ve always understood the “soul” to be a combination of our mind, will and emotions. We may speak of them independently, but they are so entwined with one another they don’t function in isolation. My consideration this week has been HOW we draw conclusions from information. When it comes to people, situations and words we take that data into our soul, process it and spit out a perspective that seems “right” to us.
That process is soul math. Our interpretation and way-of-thinking, seeing, believing is filtered through our mind, will and emotions.
That’s how you and I can physically be in the same place, hear and experience the same situation and walk away speaking about it completely differently. We add, subtract, multiply and divide the seen and unseen producing a conclusion that bears more semblance to our being, then anything else.
“Truth doesn’t need belief for it to be true.”
Someone said that to me a few weeks ago. In this online experiment I discovered a peculiar interchange of truth, facts, motivation, meaning and intention. How individuals applied those terms reflected a rationale in their response. Same with me. Same with you.
Instigating Ideas
1. Jot down negative elements to which you’re giving mind-time.
2. Consider something you feel strongly about, then formulate a belief that adamantly opposes it.
3. Ponder your motivation for people or situations in which you’re being extremely critical.
4. Evaluate if you’ve drawn a conclusion that isn’t necessarily right, it’s just yours.
I wouldn’t say I grew in empathy this week. I find certain attributes in humanity difficult to understand and lack the goodwill to try. Thus my energies to focus on myself and my own deficiencies seemed an adequate aim. Of course, I invite your critique of them. 😁
I dare you to dig around in your own soul to discover how and why you make the decisions you do. I would love to hear if you find it’s more your mind, will or emotions taking the lead in processing information that produces your position. Please Share.