Hi Friend
I hope your past week was filled with gratitude, family, fun and great deals! I had a little of each. A little is all you really need though, isn’t it? (except for the gratitude – get as much of that as you can!) I hung with my kids. I spent some cash. I had a Thanksgiving meal with David and his family. I was out amongst humanity, which I always love on big shopping days. I went to a late-night movie.
I came across more posts this year of people saying that Thanksgiving is their FAVORITE holiday. I don’t recall seeing that before, where individuals were offering that sentiment. Granted, they could also be saying the same thing about Halloween or Christmas and I wouldn’t know. It seemed to be a glorification of gratefulness I hadn’t quite experienced before. I liked it.
Holidays in general are pretty awesome. Our societal collective alignment around an idea and date is spectacular. We have one almost every month. There are the Majors and then some Minors. Depending on your religion you might get some extended versions. Which you define as major and which you define as minor will also come down to your beliefs and family heritage.
Of course, they’ve all been commercialized. To some extent we can choose the level of our own involvement in the purity of the celebration or the economic aspect. I appreciate both. Every holiday offers us the opportunity to reflect on it’s foundational theme while pausing to evaluate our own hearts condition. Not that everyone takes a moment to pause.
HOLIDAY YOU
What if you got to create your own Holiday? What would be the theme? It couldn’t be family because that’s inherent within holidays. What if a holiday was designated because of you? What would THAT be about? Not your birthday. Though what if instead of celebrating you and I entering earth, our birthdays reflected our contributions to the world? Instead of simply acknowledging we exist, what could be honored from that existence?
I know, I know… you’re like “just give me my cake and ice cream and leave me alone!”
What if Holiday You annually commemorated one of the ways we grew this past year? Something we became because our situation, relationship, environment required it? Or we initiated an educational pursuit formally or informally? Or we launched ourselves into a new pursuit or adventure that layered characteristics into our being that weren’t previously there?
HOLIDAY BECOMING
From now until the end of the year, this holiday season puts us around family members who we only see at this time of the year. Sometimes it’s every other or every third year we see them. I tend to think of these characters in a very specific light. In my mind they have remained the same as they always have been. Yet there is no way they are the same. Life and time have altered them, even if I don’t recognize it.
I may look the same, have the same personality, may even sound the same – but I am different than I was a year ago. I have grown in my thinking, believing, efforts, aspirations… I am becoming more of who I want to be. Most of the time we don’t see this in one another.
Two reasons
ONE: If we’re around each other regularly, the boiling water syndrome occurs. We just don’t notice the slow progression.
TWO: We only have brief encounters, so our interactions stay very surface.
What’s frustrating is when we have evident growth and change, and those around us won’t acknowledge or accept it. It’s annoying at best or angering at worst when people choose to ignore who we’ve become. This is apparent with nieces and nephews who we see infrequently and are literally growing in every way – but when we get together they are still treated like little kids. Nobody wants to be treated as who they used to be!
Instigating Ideas
1. Consider attaching a theme to your birthday this year.
2. Discuss with a loved one, in order, your Top Five Holidays and why.
3. Acknowledge someone’s growth and development.
4. Make a plan to notice how someone is different at your next holiday gathering.
Granted, not all differences are positive. I know when I’ve been a slacker, missed goals, gained weight, failed myself, came up short… I’m grateful no one was keen to discuss all those ways I had changed. Who wants that mirror held up? That’s when we want to keep it surface level and pretend we are as we were.
HOLIDAY GRACE
I suspect you and I regularly feel like we’ve missed it more than we’ve achieved it. Who wants a holiday about average, failure or disappointment? What are the decorations for that party? That’s the beauty and power of grace though isn’t it? We get a new day, every day to attempt and apply ourselves again. Progress has lots of steps forward, backwards and side-to-side. Some of them are our choices, some of them others and some simply circumstantial.
You are worth celebrating! I’d toast to Holiday You!
I’d love to hear how you mentally prepare yourself for the holiday season. Do you have any intentional strategies to engage or avoid certain people; any emotional exercises to equip your heart for the awkward conversations; any refuge relationships you cling to in family gatherings? Please Share!