Hi Friend,
We had a bit of a weather week here in Oklahoma. We got this weird sleet rain that sounded and looked like hail when it came down, but then packed and froze making all of our roads a sheet of ice. It shut down society for three days.
At the beginning of the week I was in downtown Minneapolis. It’s bitter cold there! “Feels like” anywhere between 0 & -20 degrees on a normal winter day. Plus they have weekly snowfall that compounds and gets dirty, but doesn’t melt. They function like normal, even though your face goes numb moments after stepping outside.
I concluded my running streak with my 53rd-day-in-a-row run along the Mississippi in the freezing cold. I miscalculated and thought it was my 52nd day, which was nicely symbolicsince I turn 52 this year. After my brain thawed out, I realized my mistake. I chalked it up to “and one to grow on“.
The stark contrast in how the two cities handle the cold weather and its peripheral offerings is striking. Obviously, Minneapolis has all the equipment, infrastructure, resources and experience necessary to keep their city functioning, otherwise they’d shut down for months. Oklahoma City, not so much.
Do you know someone who goes through all kinds of challenging situations and continues to thrive, while another friend has significantly less drama, but reacts in exaggerated ways that disable their functionality?
Capacity Enables Consistency!
This concept messes with my levels of sympathy, empathy and compassion. When you have someone in your life, like OKC, who seems to capitulate at the first sign of difficulty and talk relentlessly about why it’s so hard; while having another person in your life, similar to MSP, who battles one giant after another as part of their daily routine – it can numb sensitivity.
My personality doesn’t come pre-equipped with loads of concern for others. I tend to operate out of a disposition of “they’ll be fine” or “It’ll work out.”
I have people in my life who live hard lives but get up and do it every day with grit and a smile. I also have people who choose difficulty so they can be of service to others. When I think about them, I’m utterly impressed.
Sympathy – I feel for
Empathy – I feel with
Compassion – I act from (those feelings).
I’m aware that comparing OKC to MSP in context of snow and ice resilience isn’t reasonable. I suspect when mustering SEC for individuals, I can similarly be partial. I’m also conscious that if I assess OKC simply has a “smaller capacity” that too can skew my thinking about them.
Accepting and appreciating individuals for who they are in this season of their journey seems the best approach.
Instigating Ideas…
1. Rate your natural disposition for SEC.
2. Tell someone you know who lives positively through difficulty, how much you admire them.
3. Where would you like to grow your capacity?
What I’ve found to be most disheartening is when individuals compare themselves to others and come up short. Human nature is vividly cognizant of our own inadequacies. We also lean towards magnifying others abilities that contrast nicely with our deficiencies.
Without strong doses of grace self-applied, we create our own ice storm.
For those of you trudging through life with grit and a smile, I honor you. Your capacity, though stretched, continues to expand positioning you to be a beacon of hope for others!