I love the start of a new month! It’s like a mini-new year. We get to reset, refresh and re-consider our efforts and attention. February had enough unexpected happenings that I also felt a sense of relief. I’ve never really been one to think “I’m glad that month is over”, but when March hit, I was like “I’m glad you’re here.”
Thankfully there were some strong steps of progress made entering into March. My latest real estate venture, the house I’m building to sell, that I’ve told you about, finally got framed. I kicked off a daily social media post about our two primary motivators love and fear. I re-established a daily writing habit I had committed to. I feel settled.
I have a tendency to live in the future. Not like a time-traveler, but sorta. My mind is regularly considering what the future looks like. Not in an AI or dystopian vibe, but how my life and work and efforts are leading: Where I want to be. Who I hope to be. How I hope to be living. The impact my life is making. The opportunities I get and create. Scenario after scenario churns in my brain.
I mostly love it. It doesn’t cause me to miss the present. In many ways it helps me prioritize my current reality. I can see a direct consequence of decisions today enabling tomorrow to be what I hope it will be. Yet, I still find myself wrestling with the common struggle of time. Time is one of my best friends. However he and I regularly discuss the pace at which things get done.
The Future is Now
I’m not one who believes Time on his own accomplishes much. When people use phrases like “Just give it some time.” Or “I need some time and space.” Or “Time heals all wounds.” Or “Let’s just let some time pass.” Time on it’s own accomplishes nothing. What we do with that time makes all the difference. I understand creating distance between an event or experience. However, time on it’s own doesn’t naturally produce a positive outcome.
I try to be thoughtful about my use of time then. I’m a believer of Parkinson’s Law which states that a thing will take whatever amount of time you allot for it. I’m allotting a lot of time for my life to grow, flourish and become something useful and meaningful. I’m also interested in it happening now. That juxtaposition is the daily tension of progress.
The Framework of Time is a Gift
Fast and slow are subjective. What if neither are true? What if everything in our life is right on time? Have you ever worked with someone who does something slow? When we’re in a hurry or can do that thing faster, it creates an internal stress. For example, have you witnessed someone typing an email and you wanted to throw them out of the chair, sit down and do it yourself because of how slow they type? Or someone driving their car as if they had no where to go? I can get agitated.
I may be going Mathew McConaughey on you here, but what if their pace was exactly right for them? I struggle with that idea because I’m inherently a Maximizer (#1 StrengthsFinder Strength) and therefore want everyone to maximize. (You gotta love transference). Judging every person and situation through our greatest strength is what causes it to also become our greatest weakness.
Instigating Ideas…
1. Where are you making progress?
2. Do you need to go slower or faster?
3. Tell someone how your strength is also cause for irritation.
4. Encourage someone at the pace their going.
I realize that every person and almost every situation is beyond my control. When I apply my filter of fast or slow to them, it mostly creates issues for me. I’ve been contemplating if I valued peace over productivity how my interactions – and even thoughts – would change? Is it possible to reassign fast and slow as secondary measurements?
Alright, Alright, Alright.
It requires humility on my part (and yours) to 1) accept another’s pace as best for them, 2) appreciate the time-frame-reference in our heads is just ours, 3) it could be their pace is better than ours and 4) maybe pacing doesn’t matter at all and certainly not to the extent we give it weight. Surely not…
I know, I know… it’s hard when others don’t appreciate how much better our way is than theirs!
Time is my good friend and I greatly appreciate the consistency of reality he offers. He’s constant for every person. I wonder, however, if he’s not the best reference to measure everything by? That’s such a weird thought for my, btw.
I hope this week you find yourself in peace. Whatever fast or slow thing you have going on, I hope in the midst of it you can ascribe a pace to the events that lets your mind settle. What if peace was a better measurement than productivity? Let’s test it this week and see how things turn out.