Hi Friend,
This week has been rather tumultuous. We had some crazy weather that limited mobility. But it also was the start of a new month, which I love. We have shifted to a 30-day cycle in all our projects, goals, efforts, and measurements. It works really well for us. We pressed in and accomplished everything we set our minds to do. The results are stellar.
However, another aspect of my life – real estate investing – has been tormenting me. I set out to do what I’ve never done before: build a house. It’s so far behind schedule and so over-budget, this week I had to deal with it. I certainly bear the blame for not managing the manager better. It was a rude awakening for me though.
Do you ever get frustrated with yourself? What I mean to say is how often do you get frustrated with yourself? And what triggers it? Can I tell you a not-so-secret-secret? I’m not the best judge of character. I’m an optimist and believe the best in people which really creates a blindspot for hiring, partnerships and close relationships.
I learned that with hiring for Hawks Agency. Now I’ve had it confirmed in a couple other area’s of my life. What’s a strength in one area – believing in people’s potential, is a liability in another – inviting them into an intimate relationship to move forward together. Partnerships require a lot of attention even if the other is a professional. Or maybe it’s just my poor judgement that connects me with certain characters.
I lack discernment.
I don’t type that lightly or even like to see those words. However, I look at my past decisions and in hindsight see it time and time again. Ugh. Not just with other people, but in my own choices. Talk about frustrating. It’s a curious conundrum though. I like to tell myself I would need to be a more critical person, or even cynical, if I’m going to view humanity accurately. That may also just be a story I say to ease my own failings.
Certainly many have keen discernment and aren’t jaded?
Us humans are an interesting species. What motivates us. What causes us fear. What factors to consider for making decision? What confidence do we bring with us? Apparently I’m feeling a bit philosophical today. It’s because I keep experiencing people in new ways. There is nothing new under the sun, but each person definitely has their own unique expression of characteristics. Which could be why I often miss in my assessment of a person. I gravitate towards one aspectof them that I’m familiar with and like, while not recognizing so many other traits that are a detriment.
Misjudgment must arrive like this.
Focusing on what we know gives us a sense of assurance. Whether an element in someone we experienced from someone else or a trait we admire in ourself, recognition fosters security. I’ve learned before, that to mitigate my blindspot – well really it’s not a blindspot, I’m aware I’m deficient – I need to invite someone who is different than me into the mix. Whether interview, partnership or negotiation having a contrasting agent in the conversation helps immensely.
Instigating Ideas…
1. What gives you good judgment?
2. Who has caused you to question yourself?
3. Who are the sounding boards you trust?
4. How do you minimize frustrations?
I can do a three hour plus training on Trust. I love talking about the thick and thin nature of it. At one point I ask the audience “Why wouldn’t someone trust you?” It messes with our brain which is wired to protect us from recognizing those questionable characteristics about ourselves. What I don’t ask, but matters even more is
Why don’t you trust yourself?
It only takes a couple bad decision for us to start doubting ourselves. There is always something to learn from those experiences. However, better than resilience for combatting thin-self-trust, I find acceptance is the most powerful strengthening of self-trust. Accepting the outcome of the choice. Accepting our part in it. Accepting it’s consequential, but not the end of the world.
In all my poor choices, I’m still willing to make more. I haven’t exited the game, just because I’ve lost (and feel like I’m losing in slow motion).
The house will get built. The right relationships will appear. I’m going to continue to grow, learn and expand. Sometimes I just wish it wasn’t so painful.
This week I hope you make quality decisions, use good judgment and get around the best of people!