Hi Friend
This has been an interesting week. On December 31st I ran a 5k in downtown OKC to end the year strong. Every day since then I’ve run three or four miles, which I didn’t know I was going to do. My body isn’t loving it and it’s been somewhat cold, but overall I’m enjoying it. I have no idea how much longer I will continue it. I’ve already surpassed any expectations, so I can stop whenever and be satisfied.
This past Monday my church started their annual 21 day fast to kick off the new year. In the past, I’ve fasted all kinds of different things. This time I thought I’d go without food for three days and then go without something else for another few days and mix it up over the 21 days. That didn’t happen. I’m on Day Six of not eating any food. I didn’t know I could or would do this.
When the new year began, I asked Sarah and Monica to meet with me via zoom every morning at 9am. The point was to have a brief discussion on what the Most Important Thing we each were going to do that day. It’s been really good for me.
Apparently I’m leaning into the power of streaks. That’s one way to form habits. However, yesterday after our LinkedIn Live I shared with the team why I thought I was running everyday: CONTROL.
As a business we entered 2022 differently than any previous year prior. The residual effects of COVID and how clients are adapting has altered what I’ve known, even through the pandemic. As has always been the case, the future is unknown and what transpires in every other life and business is beyond my influence.
We Control What We Can
My old friend Covey used to talk about the “circle of concern” and “circle of influence”. The idea being to focus on what’s within our grasp to effect and leave the rest be. Seems like an obvious and natural disposition. Yet something within our human nature wants to exert control over things and situations beyond our reach. Why is that?
We want to help.
We fear a consequence.
We prefer our approach.
We can produce better results.
We can’t get it out of our minds.
Whatever scenario, circumstance or person our inclination to inject ourselves into it typically stems from good intentions. But when the reality of our ability to have impact is nil, anxiety, frustration, disappointment and worry start to rage.
Ironically, it’s most evident in conjunction with people we love. The very essence of love is freedom, nevertheless we try to force jurisdiction of our will in their world. Whatever justification we use, let’s reconsider.
It’s all in our mind!
It’s no wonder meditation apps continue to find an audience. Quieting our thoughts is a ginormous undertaking. They persist every waking moment. It’s also why prayer and meaningful conversations are so effective. Articulating our mental activity to someone is a pressure relief valve.
Instigating Ideas
1. Identify what is out of your control, but still controls you.
2. Implement some kind of streak.
3. Initiate a relief valve for your soul.
My running, fasting and planning don’t impact anything but me. I find however, exerting control over just myself takes more energy than I think it should. Leaning into STREAKS has been a useful tool.
In our society today the other big option is: DISTRACTION. If we can’t fix a situation and exerting discipline on ourselves seems unappealing, we default to this third option. Scrolling is a numbing agent that offers relief from both of Covey’s Circles. As with all sedatives, it’s temporary, requires more and never resolves the root cause.