Hi Friend,
What a week! My friend Bruce Waller says “Some days are bigger than others“. This WEEK was BIGGER than others! I had the great fortune to finally speak at the National SHRM conference. As a matter of fact, many new friends are reading this right now for the first time from that conference! I’m so glad you are here! The SHRM conference was in New Orleans. The day after I spoke there, I spoke in Orlando for LSCU. I was the kickoff keynote for their inaugural Council Conference. Believe it or not, many of them also signed on to receive this letter. I’m so glad you are here too! If you’re new, you’re welcome to go see some of my previous ramblings here.
My mom and younger brother live in Orlando. So after I spoke, I got to spend an extra day with them. That always makes for an adventure. My brother and his wife have 5 kids, so there is fun to be had when Uncle Greg comes to town! Let me circle back to the SHRM conference. I have been applying to speak at that conference for the last nine years. NINE YEARS! I can’t think of anything else I’ve attempted for that long, without success. It was my fourth time attending the conference. The other three times I went were simply to see friends & plead my case with the powers-that-be. I’m convinced that if I get a chance to meet with someone face-to-face, I can be rather convincing. This was NOT the case with the folks at SHRM who made the speaker selection. All of them are gone now and the new people had never met me, yet chose me.
Consistency Trumps Control
I’m not really a controlling person. I am free to let people and situations evolve as they naturally do. I’m decent at entrusting others to accomplish and can delegate somewhat effectively. However, when I set my sights on something I want, I can be persistently tenacious which tends to lean towards control. Or at least an attempt to coerce a certain outcome. I use these powers for good, at least my good, which I imagine is good for everyone. 😛 I’m never surprised by the answer “no”. I expect to be told that initially. It’s an indicator that I’m not communicating well because if I was, that person would say “yes” to my request. I interpret the word “no” to be saying “Greg tell me that in a different way, so I can understand better and then be willing to accommodate your ask.” It’s never taken me nine years to find the right way to word my query! Putting in the reps to keep submitting paid off.
Timing is Beyond Control
When doors open, there are many attribution opportunities, whether luck, faith, right time-right place, divine intervention, or right person-right place. I’m a fan of the idea that when you and I are ready the doors will open. Obviously, we have to keep knocking, but it seems when we stay aligned with our values and purpose, we find ourselves positioned to see those moments afforded us. Knocking is an act of faith. Continued knocking is active hope.
Instigating Ideas…
1. Is there something you’re pursuing hard? Tell someone why you want it.
2. How do you respond to the word “No”?
3. Have you stopped knocking? Should you start again?
Ironically, what I still enjoyed most about being at the conference was spending time with friends I only get to see once a year (or less these last couple of years). This time they got to see me do what I do. I’m grateful for that. You and I think we’re in control of many things and maybe we are. What if all of our efforts and attempts to control were actually what was holding us back? What if inferring our will on a situation was diminishing our benefit from it?
Trust Beats Control
I would love to hear how you navigate through control and trust. Is it one or the other or do both play together? If you have any insights about consistency or timing, I would love to hear those too. Please Share.