Hi Friend
This was a monumental week. I felt like I was 50 for the first time. Not because I lacked energy or wanted to go to bed at 8pm, but because I had a colonoscopy. Apparently there is a club. Numerous individuals welcomed me to it. There is certainly a lot of build up for the entry to this club, almost like there are critical levels you have to conquer before you can proceed.
The levels are:
Drink some stuff that taste like cough syrup. Then drink a lot of water.
Poop until it turns to pee.
Let doctors put fingers and a camera in your butt while you sleep.
That’s really it. For all the hype, I thought it was a little underwhelming. Thankfully, I have no polyps. Like I said on social media, I pretty much have a Golden Colon. I don’t need to return for another decade.
When I showed up that morning, I was my usual peppy self. (I like mornings). Each nurse and technician I interacted with would ask me my name and birthday. After a few times I started asking them their birthday, which led to some fun conversations. Anita’s birthday is December 23rd and her husband’s is December 21st. She hated it growing up so they celebrate their half birthdays in June.
Dr. Koduru is from India. She’s been married 14 years in an arranged marriage and has two boys. Misty, who cared for me post-colonoscopy has a 16 year old, a 9 year old and a 2 year old. Some sort of 7-year-itch thing.
Even though there was a sign posted about not using cell phones, of course mine came out for some pictures. Surprisingly, in the operating room Dr. Kodura herself took some pics and then a selfie with me. Honestly, I was having a good time. Then the doctor asked me a serious question:
“Are you always like this?”
I laughed. The three nurses laughed. She laughed, but was oddly sincerely curious. As you know, the answer was “yes”.
It’s a strong legitimate question; one I’ve been pondering for the last six months. Beyond these words I write to you every week – which is extraordinarily therapeutic – I’ve been subjecting my heart and mind to the proverbial “working on myself.” It leads to both searching for the why-behind-the-what and the what itself.
From choices to attitudes to responses to beliefs, it’s worth asking “Are you always like this?” If so, why? If not, why? Is there a better way to be?
Consistency is the potency of our becoming or undoing.
There is an interesting friction between personality and potential. We each have hardwired traits with which we’re born. Add to that temperament a home environment that embeds characteristics in our being, and we emerge with a core-identity cemented. What I love about that reality is we don’t have to daily muster up the energy to be ourselves. We’re naturally us.
Which of course is also the downside. With no effort, we are who we are. I’ve got a friend who regularly reminds me “Our greatest strengths are also our greatest weaknesses.” I’m trying to diminish the magnitude and reach of those weaknesses. What about you?
I’d like to think the answer to the AYALT question for my positive qualities is “absolutely” and for my negative attributes is “rarely”. Unfortunately, I’m equally constant in both. I don’t have to be. Neither do you.
Combatting Consistency
Relationships
Reflection
Reach
Our steadiness is mostly habitual and routine, not choice. Opposing those natural tendencies takes significant intentional action.
Instigating Ideas
1. List three positive characteristics you like about yourself that exist without effort.
2. What is one way consistency helps you and one way it hurts you?
3. What is a trait you could focus on changing in 2021?
4. Encourage someone this week about one of their AYALT characteristics.
The Triple R approach for fighting unwanted aspects works extremely well for me. I’m grateful for the people in my life who I can be open with and who are direct with me. Recently I had a good friend (R) tell me that I “hang up abruptly”. Because I try to maximize my time (strength) when a call has concluded, I’m ready to move on even before they get their goodbye out (weakness). I considered their words (R), realized it’s not a way I want to be and am now attempting to let whoever I’m speaking with hang up first (R). It’s hard. Those seconds seem to taunt me.
It’s a small example but reveals a quality I don’t want prominent in my life. What are ways you’re like that you don’t want in your life? Let’s do something about it!
I dare you to specifically identify a long-term tendency that doesn’t produce a quality in your life of who you want to be. I would love to hear about why you’d prefer to extract it and what new strategy you create to attempt its removal. Please Share.