Hi Friend
I’m reading this book, Thinking Fast And Slow. It’s intense and hard to read. I attempted it once before and couldn’t get through it. At over 400 pages, it has a lot of words. More challenging are the concepts packed in the words. It’s not like any other neurology book I’ve read. Normally when I read a “brain book” I feel smarter. This one, I wrestle with the ideas and sometimes am not even sure what he’s saying.
I read one chapter a day. This past week, I ran every day. I also ate ice cream every day. I called my mom every day. I drink coffee every day. (I already did that, but it’s true none-the-less). I do something on camera every day – record or interact. When we went into self-quarantine mode, I created a chart on our kitchen chalkboard – Read, Run, Video.
I knew with the world shutting down, how I’m wired I needed a simple framework to define success. Prior to COVID-19 sending proposals, contract signing, speaking and feedback afterwards were elements that affirmed we were succeeding. With all of those immediately off-the-table, giving myself a baseline for achievement was necessary.
It’s a pretty simple system with a rather low bar. What’s cool is, I succeed every day. Even if I just do two of the three criteria, that’s a win. In the three weeks we’ve been at this, I’ve only had one day – a Tuesday – that I merely did one of the three. In context, I’ve got a pretty good streak going.
We create our own measures of success!
I’ve rigged the system. It’s designed with a bias towards success. There are only three items, which I happen to enjoy all three of them. As mentioned, if I only do two in a day, that day is still a win. The parameters within the measurements are super loose. I don’t specify how far I need to run or how many pages I need to read. That gives me autonomy over each day, while staying aligned with my priorities.
I’ve read many a tweet, post and article about the tension between being productive while we have all this “extra time” and giving ourself grace to work through the grief. As typical of our nature, what I really mean is people have picked one side and then criticize the other. Long ago, I embedded in my being the words of my friend Jim Collins, incorporating the “beauty of and.”
I’m attempting to be prolific AND extend genuine kindness to myself and others.
The deep sadness of loss, the dramatic shift of societal norms, the raging fear of the unknown future amalgamate with our physical isolation creating a shockingly traumatic life event with no end date. It’s hard and scary and a sucker punch to our soul.
Two conditions have been substantial for letting me live in the AND:
Criteria Clarity
Deliberately Decisive
My chalkboard checklist has been significant simply by specificity. Measuring ambiguity is frustrating, futile and unfulfilling. Grappling with the unknown takes an already horrific scenario and layers in self-loathing for not being enough; though of what specifically, we’re not sure.
You could argue that my three criteria are insufficient in scope of all that needs to be done. I wouldn’t fight you, Friend. I would offer that since we’ve been in this situation for the last three weeks, I’ve been successful every day (but one) which has generated a peripheral momentum that positively impacts lots of other areas.
Making decisions is foundational for forward movement. When we get stuck, it’s typically rooted in indecisiveness. I’m not a right/wrong, good/bad thinker when it comes to decisions. I’m inclined to believe that making decisions regardless of the outcome is better than not making one. It reveals our next options and offers data about the consequences of our choice.
Ambiguity is the enemy!
It’s become clear we are not in a temporary hiatus. Nor are we in a new normal. We are in a marathon transition leading to a reality none of us expected. I’m going to have to stop eating ice cream every day.
Instigating Ideas:
- Write down specifically what constitutes a win.
- Be fierce about identifying indecisiveness in areas that are quietly sabotaging your peace.
- Reevaluate where you’re being self-critical.
- Offer hopeful words to someone who is being self-harsh.
- Consider enlarging to “and”, embracing both sides.
We run at our own pace, facing our own unique challenges. Retaining the right to define our own success is imperative!
I dare you to set yourself up to succeed every day! Slant it in your favor, measure it consistently and watch good momentum expand to other areas of your life. I would love to hear how you do that. Please Share.
The virtual page of the website went live on Monday. It has five free and four fee offerings. The daily zoom conversations we host are fantastic. I would love for you to join us!
We are pressing forward with new graphics and two campaigns. One for the Wednesday Everyone Huddle and the other for the Hosting CEOs service.
I believe those two have the potential to serve people and organizations best. See for yourself!
