Hi Friend
This has been a week unlike any other. We were supposed to be in Madrid, Spain at this very moment. Instead, my son is in the air returning from his canceled Study Abroad program. It’s been shockingly quick how our world has changed in one week. You and I are encountering some sort of trauma from the rapid alteration of society. If not personally, from the stories we see others experiencing, it’s startling.
Seeing and knowing what others are going through, certainly tempers the challenges I’ve faced. It’s hard to complain about the hours on hold with airlines, the money needed to fly our son back so quickly, all the canceled/postponed events where I was scheduled to speak, the seemingly worst week in history to launch a new website, when so, so many have lost so much more.
It’s an interesting dynamic to feel our own sense of loss on multiple fronts only to be alerted to the scope and scale of others devastation. It’s an even greater challenge attempting to articulate joy in the midst of so much sadness. We don’t want to appear tone deaf to the world around us, but also we’re attempting to live our best efforts in spite of everything going on.
We launched a new website this week. We’ve been working diligently on it for three months. My tendency towards aggressive excitement often blurts, shouts and demonstratively exaggerates with glee. When the web company flipped the switch, it just sat there. I wrestled with how to express our genuine delight in the midst of extraordinary darkness.
It’s the Conundrum of Compassion.
Even as I’m attempting to write this FIRST WEEKLY INSTIGATOR, being mindful of word selection, emphasis, how I might sound to you Friend and the overall spirit that’s conveyed here is a weighty matter to me. Not because I’m concerned about offending you or sounding whiny, but because I care about our connection and the openness you’ve afforded me by reading these words.
How can we simultaneously empathize, encourage, experience our own deep loss and make genuine effort to lift one another?
It’s the Conundrum of Compassion.
The vast plunging of hope coupled with the supersonic barreling of fear has gutted the soul of society. Levels of disheartening we didn’t know were possible surface minute by minute. Every single person in America and most other parts of the world, have been directly impacted. It’s nauseating that that sentence isn’t hyperbole.
With a never-ending supply of news and information, Death is rampant. From the physical to individual dreams to lifestyles to societal norms, they’ve all come to an abrupt and immediate halt. Most of it unimaginable a week ago. All of it feeding fear.
Also there are the defiant and dismissive ones who find the entire scenario excessively preposterous. The magnitude of response with the enormous detriment feels unnecessarily harsh and disproportionate. They too find fear feasting upon their spirit.
How can we share mourning, grief and sorrow as well as dignify the fight for a mitigated response?
It’s the Conundrum of Compassion.
Compassion Limiters
Offense
Ego
Smallness
Anger
Blame
Disappointment and frustration are at levels never confronted or contemplated before. They are the breeding ground for Compassion. My short hand definition has always been “Care in Action”. He’s the brother of Empathy and certainly more accessible in these times. His appearance springs forth when our internal conversation expands beyond ourself. For example…
“I’m so bummed all of my scheduled speaking events have been postponed. What am I going to do for income? How can I pay my bills if my business has been put on hold?” Me Me Me. OR “Oh man, I wonder what convention center staffs are going to do? Caterers to AV to housekeeping to suppliers, hundreds and thousands of families are immediately at risk.”
Consciously choosing to consider beyond ourselves fosters an emotional fortitude that preserves our sanity, combats anxiety and positions us to serve humanity well. But what about Meeeeeeeeeeeeeee?!?!
It’s the Conundrum of Compassion.
The above list of Compassion Limiters will compel us to turn inward, prioritizing ourselves above all. Because if we don’t, who will?! It’s a different kind of risk and one of those counterintuitive ideas that offer a paradox of protection. It could be in light of or in spite of our own circumstances that we muster the courage to offer compassion.
Instigating Ideas:
- Write down all of your fears.
- Send a specific encouragement to one individual.
- Give to your local food bank.
- Read receptively a contrarian view.
- Celebrate an accomplishment.
Fear doesn’t play nice. The consequences of our current reality will have residual impact for decades. It’s another societal pivot point that we’ll reference as before and after. Accessing compassion will both cost us and save us.
I’m daring you to be compassionate even as it creates a conundrum. I would love to hear how you attempt to do that this week. Please Share.
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