Hi Friend
What an incredibly warm week! I was fortunate to get to be in Maryland for a couple of days and it was beautiful there as well. Actually, stunning. Sunrises and sunsets over vast bodies of water are energizing and relaxing, at the same time! I got to spend a little time with my friend Lou, which is also energizing and relaxing.
Last Saturday my lovely bride went to visit her son at college. I made my way to an old school arcade with quarter machines. I love pinball. They had about 15 pinball machines and all the old classics like Galaga, Donkey Kong, Ms. Pacman, Centipede, Frogger, etc. I played almost every pinball machine but spent the most time on The Addams Family. #Mamushka!
The nostalgia of an arcade is soothing like a sunset. When I was a kid, every Saturday morning I would ride my bike to the arcade under the Little Caesars Pizza on Claremont Avenue and play Pac-Man non-stop. I was proud of my skills back then. I could get to the “keys” level consistently, making my quarters last for hours.
I only played pinball at the movie theater. It had a huge foyer, three different screens and two pinball machines. What is it about doing activities 40 years later that generates joy? I don’t revert to a kid or even feel like one, I simply enjoy the experience in real time. It’s oddly comforting.
COMFORT ZONE
In the business of personal growth, the “comfort zone” gets a bad rap. In leadership, you are forbidden to stay there if you want to thrive. First, kudos to whoever coined the term. There are very few instances we get to use the word “zone” in our daily life, except for end zone and maybe calzone, neither of which I spend any time in.
Second, the words feel like a specifically designated place– the zone – but the meaning is large, undefined, ethereal and a bit ominous. It infers a horror show of small living for those who get trapped there. Third, if there were an actual, physical place in our home we could go and find true comfort every time, that seems like a big win. Why hate the CZ?
FAMILIAR REALM
Ironically, what is labeled the “comfort zone” actually isn’t. It’s a place of monotonous routine baked in fear, with the underlying threat that if we leave it, the disruption will be unbearably uncomfortable because we will fail. Yikes, who wants to live under those conditions? We equate familiar with comfort, and that’s not true.
I propose utilizing “Familiar Realm” as a more accurate description of what people mean. Breaking daily patterns and reaching for more of life beyond our current existence isn’t hard because we are so cozy. It’s the habitual, automatic grooves that we are rooted in, which restrain us from working to experience the unfamiliar. Remaining the same is easier, but not necessarily comforting.
Instigating Ideas…
1. Tell someone where an actual comfort zone is for you?
2. Determine to do something this week that is out of your normal routine.
3. Encourage someone who is attempting something new.
4. Spend a few hours in a physical place that elicits joy.
When I arrived at the arcade I was surprised with a “double day”. Five dollars got me ten dollars worth of tokens. I played for a couple of hours – much more than I anticipated – and thoroughly loved it! Then I was tired and ready to go. Turns out our actual comfort zones can be exhausting. We don’t really want to stay in them permanently.
LOSS & GAIN
The Familiar Realm taunts us that if we make decisions to break free from our current approach to living, we will lose what we have and regret our choices. Worse, we will pay dearly for those losses and never regain what we currently possess; as if we’re at the peak of existence now.
With every loss, there is a gain. Life is a constant exchange of holding on and letting go. Most of us hold on way too long and miss opportunities and experiences that would enrich our lives, minds and relationships. Let’s get energized in our comfort zones so we can fight the fear of the familiar!
I hope this week you attempt to disrupt a few of your normal patterns. Listen to where fear speaks the loudest about you making changes and lean into that. The greater the fear the bigger the opportunity on the other side of it. Go there!