Hi Friend
This week has been full even though I didn’t travel. There are lots and lots of details swirling about as I prepare to move. For the first time, I had a rush of genuine sorrow. It happened as I was contemplating some random detail about the move. Then I had lunch with my daughter and it was amplified.
Thankfully I didn’t burst out in tears sitting with her, but it was near the surface. Since my original marriage ended, I developed a relationship with sorrow that I had never had before. I like it. I’m grateful for her.
This Inside Out 2 movie is killing it at the box office. It has become Pixar’s highest grossing movie ever! Wow. I liked it, but I don’t carry a lot of anxiety with me, so it wasn’t as impactful as the first one. The idea of how sadness & joy benefit from one another was spot on.
Of course I didn’t realize it personally until five years later. Grief and sorrow work together to move us through loss. “Sorrow” is the foundation which sadness comes from… as do other feelings and emotions. She gets a pretty bad rap but tends to serve a useful purpose. How do you feel about sorrow?
BEING SAD ISN’T BAD
Have you ever heard someone say “I’m sad?’. It immediately creates an awkward moment because we don’t want people to be sad. If it’s someone we care about we want to do whatever we can to get sadness off of them. Our standard response is “How can I help?”
What if we thought about being sad, like being tired? It’s not negative, it’s an indicator from our soul we need to listen to. When our body tells us we’re tired, we eventually lay down and go to sleep. If we don’t, everything else stops functioning properly. Same thing happens with sadness.
Of course, it’s our soul telling us and most of us don’t know how to “lay down and go to sleep” when sorrow appears. How do you?
I LIKE BEING SAD
As with most things in life, if we simply accept it and not avoid it, sadness’s visit is useful and temporary. She regularly catches me off guard. I didn’t know she was going to show up this week. Since I appreciate who she is, when she does appear, I know it’s for a reason.
Sorrow always points me to gratitude. Because she’s a playmate of Grief, her presence is intertwined with loss. Identifying and recognizing that loss let’s me shift to being grateful for what was, even if it is no more. Also, I’m emboldened with faith for what could be, which also elicits gratefulness.
Instigating Ideas…
1. Do you lean in or away from sorrow?
2. Sit with someone who is sad, offering only your presence.
3. Define your perspective towards sorrow and sadness.
We can put off sleep by drinking coffee, energy drinks or medicated uppers. However, eventually we crash. With sorrow, we can also find numerous substitutes to delay what’s required. Unfortunately, many have permanently prolonged giving their soul rest, because they persistently resist doing what’s needed. Please, don’t let that be you.
The “sleep” to sadness is twofold: Contemplation & Communication. We can consider why we are sad. Even though it seems evident, it’s often deeper than the first glance. Next, we must get it out of our minds and hearts: Discussions, journaling, creating art – for sorrow to do its work, it must be expressed.
Like sleep, we may need to do it regularly. When dealt with in real-time it requires much less. When it’s been suppressed, it takes much longer.
Sadness is to Sorrow what Happiness is to Joy. Both are a Pathway that Leads to Gratitude.
I hope this week you get the sleep you need, embrace the sorrow and sadness that comes your way, and extract everything from it you can!