The Tension of Acceptance

Hi Friend

What a wonderful week of growth. John hosted a killer luncheon as part of a weeklong city-wide wellness initiative and had Lindsay Tarpley, a two-time gold medal soccer star, speak. It’s fun to see someone else do their thing that is similar to me, but also entirely different.

Also, I had the most incredible opportunity in Madison, Wisconsin to work with an amazing leadership team. It was a trust-thickening day with all kinds of useful conversations. I loved it. However, my travel around getting there and leaving gave me an opportunity to thicken up my patience.

Granted travel is rarely a breeze. I do it enough that most things just roll over me. What got me on this trip was my rental car. I have a “fastbreak” setup, so I can typically go right to my car and leave. No interaction necessary. This time however, I stood in line for an hour. It was painful. ONE HOUR!

After my full day of meaningful engagement, I was spent and ready to fly home. I went out to my car, opened my app and found my flight had been canceled and rebooked for 24 hours later. I was shook. I chatted with customer service and found an earlier flight for the next day with a long layover in DC.

THE POWER OF POWERLESSNESS

When I’m on a call with a customer service agent who has the power to help me, I am aggressively persistent. Once the call has ended, I am powerless to do anything else about it. In my younger years I would remain frustrated, or worse. These days instead of fueling negative emotions with thoughts, I ponder possibilities.

The power of powerlessness lies in our ability to accept reality. Do you know anyone who lives life emotionally hijacked because they’re consistently frustrated, angry, disappointed or hurt? A past relationship, a family member, something at work, a missed opportunity – you name it, we all have hundreds of options to choose from. They won’t accept it and move on. Are you like that?

JUST LIKE FORGIVENESS

Our minds can generate a lot. When spiraling around the negative it seems impossible to find a positive alternative. At our core, you and I desire peace; A settledness that external circumstances, people or things can’t provide. Yet we strive to access it there, creating a loop of disappointment that plays on repeat.

The tension of acceptance lies in our desire to want something or someone to be different than they are. It’s a lot like forgiveness. If we offer it, does that give the person a pass? If we accept a reality, does that mean we agree with the situation? Just like with forgiveness, it really isn’t about the other; it’s about the freedom we gift ourselves. Please try it. 

Instigating Ideas…

1. Is there a reality you need to accept?

2. Is there a person you need to accept?

3. Is there a past you need to let go of?

4. Is there someone you need to forgive?

I had the best time because of my delay. I went to downtown Madison and sat on a bench gazing out onto Lake Mendota for over an hour. It was rejuvenating. I walked all around and stumbled upon a street that reminded me of Boulder, CO. There was a Hawk’s Grill, which of course I ate at. I enjoyed myself thoroughly!

MAKE A WISH

We may do our kids a disservice by having them make a wish when they blow out candles on their birthday. It might serve them better to practice accepting life as-is. Too many humans are living with anxiety, emotional turmoil and chronic disappointment – much of it rooted in a resistance to accept reality.

Fear is central to that refusal, leaving us wishing, wishing, wishing it were different. The irony is accepting a reality isn’t a defeat but an opening up of our minds to all new prospects. Fear and peace cannot cohabitate.

I hope this week you are able to identify an area in your life you’ve opposed accepting. Whether a person, situation or past, I dare you to try it and see if peace doesn’t show up!

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