The Friction of Difference

Hey Friend

My friend Bruce Waller has a saying “some days are bigger than others.” I amplified that this week to “some weeks are bigger than others.” This week was nearly perfect:

Sunday – Client run through, concert at Cains with my good friend Phil.
Monday – Share Navigate Workplace Rapids message at Client Event. Have sushi date with my wife and daughter.
Tuesday – Super productive work day. Dinner with friends who are going to Jordan with my wife this week.
Wednesday – Speak at the Tulsa HR Luncheon. Take my clothes off. Gets lots of attention on LinkedIn. Fly to Orlando.

Wednesday Night – Spend the night at my moms place and hang out on the back deck drinking tea, enjoying the canal.
Thursday – My brother Doug joins us for breakfast. I go to his house and see my five nieces and nephews, play a game of burrito brawl. Head to client event and speak. Again, my raft message loving obstacles.
Thursday Night – Get to run around Disney after hours, because the Client rented out part of Hollywood Studios.
Friday – Fly home. Get more work done.

The Friction of Difference weekly instigator

Super fun week! On top of all that I got all my runs in with some intense intervals.

What was the actual highlight of the week to me, is not clearly spelled out in all those words up above. All three events I spoke at were with people who have utilized me before and invited me back. That’s a big deal for me. It affirms what I’m doing resonates and more so, that I’m a trusted partner to serve in accomplishing their goals.

Being on a Team is the Best!

I’ve had my business for over a decade. The first five years it was just me. The last five have included a variety of business managers, currently with Sarahwho I hope gets to stay with me till the end. Prior to that, I was in an organization leading a team and being on a team. I thrive in collaboration.

I love the verbal sparring that occurs as we search for the best solution. I love the relational dynamics that develop over time. I love going through seasons with people, both literal and life. I love winning and losing with a squad. I love the consistency of familiar faces. I love dreaming together about what’s possible and then attempting it with vigor. I love being on a team!

Trust – Being counted on and counting on others is an absolute necessity.
Empathy – Considering deeply someone else’s perspective, motive and reasoning requires selfless growth.
Affinity – Nurturing rapport with professional intimacy embedded, fosters meaningful relationships.
Magic – It feels like it transcends the laws of nature. When we see it, it mystifies because it doesn’t seem possible, yet happens right before our eyes. Logically, we know there is a system in place behind the scenes that enables what we’re experiencing.

Because of the work I do, I often hear the ugly side of teams: The frustration, disappointment, drama, negativity, factions and so forth. It’s true, humans can be painfully annoying and disappointing. That same dynamic can also produce amazing results.

It’s the friction of difference.

You know who we naturally like? People similar to us. They take less effort. You know who we tend to not care for? People who think, believe, conclude, relate and act entirely different than us.

Like family, being on a team is a continual wrestling match of when to assert ourselves, when to remain quiet, when to strongly stand and when to willingly acquiesce. Most drama erupts because we aren’t well versed in understanding how to utilize humility as an effective relational resource.

We often treat our opinion as holy and opposing ones as sacrilege. Being on a team offers the opportunity to reconsider our views regularly, if we’re willing. Every disagreement we have with a colleague is an invitation to grow. Unfortunately, most of the time we shrink, because we hold fast to our position and belittle theirs.

What if this week you…
1. Express gratitude to someone for being on the team?
2. Practice humility?
3. Take your work nemesis to lunch and not argue?
4. Create your own acronym for TEAM?
5. Apologize to someone for being so stubbornly stuck to your opinion?

I’m not saying embracing an opposing idea is best. I’m saying taking a different perspective, merging it with yours, produces an entirely new vantage point. If we’re unwilling to see what others see, we limit our own potential.

Do you have a reputation for being narrow minded? Do you wish you worked alone? Have you had a compressed week of goodness before? Are you someone’s nemesis? What frustrates you most? Are you grateful for you team? I’m grateful when you say Hello. 

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