Hi Friend
I’m writing you this morning from Flagstaff, AZ. My daughter and I are on a roadtrip to Vegas to see Adele on Saturday night. (I’m writing this Friday morning, because I’ll be driving tomorrow morning). Fortunately, the 12 hour drive yesterday flew by. Lainey always has fun conversations, perspectives and considerations. She has hilarious and scary views on if she’s ever abducted.
It’s probably been 15 years since I’ve driven I-40 this far west. I’m amazed at the open land, flat top “mountains” and trains. As I drove I kept imagining what this was like on horseback. It still feels a lot like I’d picture the “wild west” to be. It’s a rugged terrain with unique beauty. The sky seems to go on forever too.
We took a family vacation to Sedona a long time ago. It was my favorite. We enjoyed a hot air balloon ride, jeep bouldering, hiking for days and watching the sunset from a particular spot. We ventured a day trip to the Grand Canyon. It was all very magical. I’m about 30 miles north of Sedona here in Flagstaff. Yet I feel the distance in years.
When we we’re looking for a gas/food stop, I asked Lainey how far away it was. She said “30 minutes. I don’t do distance in miles, but in time.” I like that. Actually, I love that. It’s how my brain processes as well. How far away something is doesn’t really matter unless we measure it by what’s most important to us.
Measure Measuring
Sometimes it’s money. Sometimes it is distance. Sometimes it’s emotions. Sometimes it’s relational. Sometimes it’s effort. The cost of arriving at a desired destination always requires investment. You and I live a life of exchange. Truly understanding what we’re trading for what we’re getting is powerful. I regularly suspect people don’t recognize the value of what their paying for what their getting.
The cost of not engaging in a difficult conversation = mind-time, energy, focus.
The cost of not pursuing a dream = regret, negative self talk, small living.
The cost of living beyond our means = future options eliminated, present fear, compound interest.
The cost of holding onto the past = skewed identity, inaccurate perspective, faulty decision process.
It’s much easier to look at what people spend their money on and assess a poor value exchange. It’s difficult to see where we’ve paid a high price mentally, emotionally and relationally and didn’t get the wished-for result. Where have you spent big and got a small return?
Prioritize Priorities
What is fun to witness is someone who has defined their values and priorities then exerted concentrated energy towards that end. It’s inspiring. I’ve seen it happen spiritually, relationally, with skills and career, in finances and in stability. Have you experienced someone who has determined to keep peace in their soul despite what’s happening around them? That can’t be purchased with cash, but there is a price to pay.
That’s the kicker with priorities, it’s like a game of Would You Rather?
Would you rather have peace or have relationship with people who steal it?
Would you rather deal directly with a situation or keep paying for therapy that you ignore?
Would you rather make sacrifices now or work till you die?
Would you rather trust or remain alone?
It’s interesting how our decisions reveal our priorities yet we’d swear they were not. Our choices give us away.
Instigating Ideas…
1. What do you value most and is it obvious?
2. Where are you paying high and getting little in return?
3. Consider your ongoing value exchanges.
4. Listen to Adele.
It takes intentional effort to live by our priorities. Life isn’t designed in a way that we do what’s most important and valuable to us on a regular basis. Consciously creating habits and routines around what’s most important is the only way we get to be assured we’ll align with our values. It is costly to purposely live by purpose.
Defining Definitions
What is our definition of a fulfilled, satisfied, meaningful life? Like measurements and priorities consciously articulating what we actually mean is where the magic happens. Many are dissatisfied and discouraged, but haven’t put language to the vision of a daily life loaded with contentment and joy.
I suspect people don’t do that because it might reveal how far away they are from it. But like Lainey using time instead of miles, you and I can utilize metrics that enable us to address the gap with hope. It is a fight worth engaging.
I hope this week you are mindful of what kinds of value exchanges you are making. I dare you to write down throughout the week when you choose a priority over a convenience or exert effort towards an intangible value.