Hi Friend
This week was full on. I had two virtual presentations, put together two proposals for conference producing events next year and my firstborn turned 21. Despite all the craziness in the world, it still keeps spinning and I keep waking up for it. I’m grateful. I’m kind of amazed it’s the middle of December though. Remaining active and focused seems to be the trick for “time flying by”.
Whether it’s this past week, these last few months or the life span of a young adult the continuity and comfort created by the consistency of the clock is curious. If you’ve been getting these letters for any length of time, you know I love Time. His constancy is the one certainty we can count on. Yet the illusion of speed, whether fast or slow, feels a bit like a solved mystery – but one in which we keep being surprised.
It’s a common refrain, when it comes to kids that they “grow up so fast.” I’ve just never bought into that or felt that way. Every season of my kids lives have been uniquely fun and each of them took one day at a time. At certain ages, I recall wishing time would speed up so we could exit that mode.
The assessment of course is in looking back. The days seem long, while the years seem short. The moments captured are far less than the moments missed. I tend to have a bit of a sentimental side, so I hoard all school projects, paintings, crafts, memorabilia and take lots of pictures. Though it doesn’t go by fast, it does go by. And once it is gone… it is gone.
The premium on the present takes precedent when we recognize the power of this point in time. Whether that point be this hour, this encounter, this day, year or life – our capacity to embrace and extract from this moment is what fills our soul with fulfillment or longing.
Where are you now?
Have you been somewhere physically, but your mind had you miles away?
Have you been in a group of people and felt weirdly distant from all of them?
Have you been mid-sentence and lost your thought because an entirely different train pulled into the station?
Have you watched yourself participating but felt oddly absent from the experience?
Have you not heard someone repeating themselves over and over and over, only to be alerted to the query after the fact?
On occasion we all mentally exit the scene.
“Being Present” has gained enormous traction this year. Consciously giving our full attention in each encounter is the new best expression of love, care and interest. The battle to focus entirely in the moment has been magnified by others having the ability to watch us as we watch others. We’ve lost zoning out to Zooming in.
Attention has always had a cost, that’s why we’ve been chastised to pay it. The difficulty now is that instead of our minds wandering, our thumbs scroll. When it was just our thoughts, the conflict was ferocious. When two senses are involved – touch and sight – the compensation to attune our concentration is extraordinarily, unbelievably high.
Have you ever purchased something that cost more than you wanted to pay, but hoped it would be worth it? And it wasn’t. 😒 That feels like what we’ve gone through as individuals and a society. When we give attention to someone or something and it comes up lacking, we conclude expending our energies that way just isn’t worth it.
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What else has a “span”? I’m familiar with our life span. I vaguely recall something spanning the globe. But SPAN is by far most famous with its attachment to our attention. The idea that it collectively shrinks consistently over time seems suspicious to me. For as long as I’ve been alive, I’ve never heard about it growing, only decreasing.
I wonder if we shifted our efforts from the attention part to the span part, we might get different results?
Instigating Ideas
1. As you reflect over this past year, pick out memorable moments that mattered and share gratitude about them.
2. Put in place a mechanism for valuing each day intentionally.
3. Create a list of places you go in your wandering mind and describe them to someone else.
How can we expand our span?
Conscientious Sharing. Have you ever been bothered by someone scrolling their phone when you were watching a show together? The “Shared Experience” connects us. Purposely share life!
Invited Wandering. Articulate that as your mind drifts, you are going to verbalize that trip and invite the other to go with you.
Include Distraction. The geniuses who keep saying our span is shriveling attribute it mostly to darting distractions that remove us from moments. Incorporating those diversions into our current experience takes practice.
Tomorrow is coming, but not before we totally live out today. Hopefully you fully enjoy and experience it!
I dare you to discover and define what has the ability to most easily shorten your attention span. I would love to hear about how you take steps to intentionally give attention to those people and situations that need it the most. Please Share.