Hi Friend
I returned from my amazing trip last week to find an ice apocalypse had ravaged our city. Over 300,000 people without power. Trees were broken in half. Power lines were coated in glistening frozen conduits. It was a beautiful mess. Apparently because it was super early in the season and all the leaves were still on the trees, that’s what created such a destructive combination.
A humorously unexpected consequence was my daughter had a “snow day”. Since we’re working a hybrid schedule – two days a week in the building, three days virtual, teachers had said “we’ll never have another snow day because you can just do your work virtually.” No one had considered half the student body would be without power for multiple days without internet access. 2020 is relentless!
Who knew trees bring such joy to our lives? Since my return, many conversations have been about how “sad” it is what’s happened to the trees. It’s kind of like the sentiment in the Lord of The Rings series when Treebeard realizes what Saruman is doing to the Fangorn Forest. We know trees are “alive” but not like in a pet sort-of-way. Yet when brutally broken all of a sudden a swell of emotion erupts.
Probably the main reason we chose our house almost 22 years ago was because this part of Edmond has trees. Lots of trees. They’re not pretty trees. They’re mostly dirty oaks. But they fill the front and back yards of all the houses in ours and surrounding neighborhoods. Contrast that to the west side of Edmond where lots of new builds have gone up over the decades, built in fields. No trees. We call those neighborhoods “ugly”. 😝
I literally never think “Man aren’t these trees great doing that photosynthesis thing, generating the oxygen I breathe in?!” In the Spring and Summer those green leaves are working hard to prevent you and me from suffocating.
They give us life, yet we show little to no regard for their contribution.
I suspect that notion is what drives environmentalist and save-the-trees type people. I don’t fall into that category. However with this chilly catastrophe I wonder if our subconsciousness are collectively acknowledging these living timbers give us life?
I wonder what is essential to our being that we currently give no regard? Relationships are the easy response. I wonder what else exists in our space that contributes significantly, yet we only take notice of, once it’s broken or gone? Physical health? Mental sharpness? Emotional stability? Geographical proximity? Functioning machinery? Peace? Purpose? Belonging?
What strikes me as I’m generating these thoughts for the first time and capturing them here for you, is identity. Our perception of ourselves is quite the redwood to our existence. It’s recast, reshaped and renamed often throughout our lives. Son, Brother, Student, Baseball Player, BMX’er, Punker, Believer, Audio Guy, Friend, Leader, Husband, Dad, Instigator, Youth Guy, Right-Hand-Man, Executive Director, Entrepreneur, Creative, Speaker, Culture Guy… the list goes on. Those are just a few and they’re positive.
Not surprisingly, I don’t have an urge to write the negative ones. They’re there. I even typed out a few, then deleted them. The layering of our identity is like the rings inside a trunk. We add new ones but the old ones remain, revealing different seasons of growth and challenge that shape us.
Identity Identifiers
Relationship Roles
Talents, Gifts, Skills
Attempts & Restraints
Physical Appearance
Career Path
Successes & FailuresDreams
How often do we work on our identity? Not for public consumption, not branding, but for us as an individual? It daily contributes to our thoughts, will and actions invisibly, yet powerfully. It persuades our decision making and filters our responses. It is us. It is also pliable.
Instigating Ideas:
1. Create a list of 20 ways you’re identified.
2. Write three Identifiers you’d like to add and three you’d like to lose.
3. Plant a tree.
4. Recognize what Identifiers you admire in others.
5. Rewatch Lord of the Rings
We’ve seen in shows where someone has to come in and “Identify the body.” The person is dead. Someone who knows them has to say “Yep, that cold stiff physical entity resembles an alive person I knew.” What attributes do we want someone to notice about us when we’re alive that they say “yeah, that has Friend written all over it” because of….?
Like tree trimming, showing care to that which so profoundly impacts our survival seems reasonable. Yet I suspect like me, you make little time to provide for identity grooming. Let’s change that and not give room for a frigid tundra to emerge.
I dare you to set aside 30 minutes this week and go deep in the hard work of putting accurate words around aspects of your identity that impact you the most. I would love to hear what ways you reflect upon those characteristics and which may have the biggest influence on how you live your life. Please Share.