Hi Friend
What an unusual week. It started out really strong. It was productive and full of forward momentum. Monica and I met a couple days in a row to go through all the new Customer Service Training videos we created a few months ago. (Yes, this project has been drawn out). It looks really good. I’m super proud of all this new content.
However, on the second morning, Monica said to me “I think you’re sick.” My head was full of gunk, I was coughing and I told her my body was fatigued. Typing that now, I know it seems obvious. It wasn’t to me. After Doctor Monica’s diagnosis she prescribed rest as the treatment.
That was Thursday morning. I came home and did a bit more work, then went to bed. I didn’t have any medicine in my house so a friend door-dashed me some Mucinex. I weirdly love that stuff. It’s smooth and effective! Unfortunately, when the delivery guy arrived, I was snoozing in bed. He rang the doorbell. He rang it again. He rang it several more times.
I was laying in my bed thinking “dude, just leave it and go.” Then he started POUNDING on my door. Multiple times. I got angry, but still didn’t want to get up. But also wanted the M-Juice. Then it went silent. I waited a bit, then went out to retrieve the drug drop from my porch. It wasn’t there!! The dude was in his car, still in my driveway.
He got out and proceeded to tell me he needed identification. I was super rude to him. I was terse, annoyed and unkind. I got my license then left him. He said “um sir, I need your signature too.” I said aggressively “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” I scribbled on his phone and went inside. I don’t know if I’ve ever been so abruptly disrespectful to another human like that. :/
IMMEDIATE REGRET
I swigged my sauce, got back in bed and immediately deeply regretted the last 5 minutes of my life. Like, repented, questioned my own decency, disappointment engulfed – you know that feeling when a tinge of shame tries to envelop you. I was like “you suck dude.”
I was so rude I couldn’t even rationalize it with my sickness, tiredness or being in bed. I tried for a minute, but there was no traction. There was just absolutely no justification for my behavior.
SITUATIONAL CAPACITY
I didn’t know I was capable of such behavior. I confessed to my team on Friday with a few extra gory details. I can’t stop thinking that, that encounter is ALL that guy knows of me. I’m feeling like, “I don’t know who that was!” and he’s thinking “This is exactly the kind of person you are!”
YIKES. Forget first impressions. Apparently, my character has leaks. I didn’t know in that scenario with those provocations that result would emerge. Now I do. I wish I didn’t. What situations cause you to reveal less-than-stellar character-lacking qualities?
Can you imagine how many people we’ve formed opinions about that are inaccurate? How about those who have formed opinions about you? Granted we may have more than one encounter with them, so it feels different. It’s worth considering from both sides, that the perception may lack some context.
Instigating Ideas…
1. Feel better about yourself because of my suckage.
2. Reconsider a negative opinion you hold of someone.
3. Share a self-disappointment with another person.
4. Praise a colleague for remaining positive in a difficult situation.
I really do wonder if who we know people to be is primarily a result of their current life scenario. Of course it is. Who would we be if elements of our health, finances, relationships were entirely different or radically altered unexpectedly? That’s what makes some people so impressive, isn’t it? They remain consistent in character and even shine more, when life takes an ugly turn. In theory, I wanna be that guy! Apparently, I still have some work to do.
PATTERNS
Thankfully, I can look at this situation, feel regret and sorrow, apply grace, then move on. It was a one-off that reveals what’s possible but doesn’t infer what’s normal. Patterns are the indicator of character. Repeated responses and behaviors truly define our nature.
The power of character is that it exists outside of circumstances. We are the exact same person in every single scenario, regardless of internal or external instigators. I’m still working on that…
I hope this week you are kind to everyone, including yourself. Pay attention to how others navigate difficulty and offer a Character-Compliment!