Hi Friend
Man this week was fun! Because I was doing a photo shoot, I went shopping. I was looking for two or three very specific shirts. I’m a targeted shopper. I go in, see if they have what I need, then get out. In one fancy store in downtown Minneapolis, a guy greeted me at the door, he walked me everywhere the shirt might be, it wasn’t and I walked out. Three minutes, boom.
I also participated in a leaders breakfast this week. There is a store here in Minneapolis called Hammermade, which has cool shirts (I stopped in on my shopping spree). The founder/owner was the guest. It is quite a story of growth, loss and rebuilding, plus faith. We all love the end result of a success story. But the hard painful middle, or beginning, is where the good stuff’s at.
My photo shoot was fabulous. It was at a fun studio downtown. Nic the photographer is a young guy and great at his job. He found out I liked the White Stripes, so we put them on loud the whole shoot. It was the perfect vibe. It’s possible I may have to exit the speaking business and move into modeling, because, it turns out, I was made for it! Keep your eyes open for my next Calvin Klein spread.
I have entirely disliked my photos from our previous photo shoot – when Monica and John came on the speaking team. They are painful to look at, which I’ve done for three years. There is literally not one picture I like, but settled that, that was what we got – and I think John and Monica look fabulous. And since we’re a team, I wanted to retain the cohesiveness.
CHANGE EXPERTS
Have you ever accepted something about yourself, and though it could be altered, you reasoned you’d just leave it be? Change takes a lot of energy, effort and dedication. That’s why most of us like to focus on all the things wrong with someone else. It’s so much easier to recognize their shortcomings and offer a handy step-by-step guide on how they could go about changing.
It’s like a gift, isn’t it? Whether a colleague, spouse, friend, boss, ex-spouse or your kids’ friends’ parents, we are willing and able to diagnose and prescribe just what they need to be a better human. We shan’t be bothered with turning that expertise on ourselves, because fixing them will solve our issues too… so the story goes.
FOUNDATIONAL BELIEFS
What’s something in your life, thinking, words or behaviors that needs to change? If you’re not sure, there are those around you who would be happy to tell you. (They too possess an expertise at diagnosing others). Or we can look at the fruit of our lives as an indicator of unrealized beliefs which our impacting us and those around us, negatively.
Everything we do – literally EVERYTHING – springs forth from our beliefs. That’s why therapists like to go back to our childhood because we formulated most of our foundational beliefs then. Granted, we’ve expanded upon those beliefs about us and others, through experiences – yet unbeknownst to us, they were filtered through the foundation already laid. Meaning, our reality may not really be reality. Hmph.
Instigating Ideas…
1. Go to a leaders breakfast.
2. Write down one thing you’ve tolerated about yourself that needs to change.
3. Examine the fruit of your life and how it aligns to your beliefs about yourself.
4. Praise someone you’ve witnessed take themselves through a metamorphosis.
The Hammermade guy had an unyielding belief in his stores and mission. Despite the incredible loss he experienced he persisted in his beliefs, not his circumstances. When we’re rooted in truth, faith is an effective strategy for overcoming. I’ve been rooted in self-deception before and that same strategy turns out to be delusional. Apparently, being honest with ourselves matters.
IS THIS FOR ME OR YOU?
The day before the photo shoot, my wife suggested I get a haircut. I was contemplating it, but thought it was too risky, because I couldn’t do anything about it, if it turned out poorly. I got it cut the day of the shoot and am so glad I did. When someone cares about us, their offering to help is sincere. If we fear changing, their encouragement could be the useful catalyst we need. (I’m sure you want to see the pics. Wait patiently…)
I imagine you’d like to send this to someone who you think needs to change. I know I just referenced my wife’s words of encouragement. However, this letter today has actually been for YOU. So, despite you knowing exactly who needs to read it… go ahead and YOU sit with it for a while please, contemplating the opportunities your life has given YOU to grow.
I hope this week you have as much fun as I did at the photo shoot. I hope you find the courage and resources to have a go at making the change in your life you know you’ve needed to and the beliefs around them. If I can be useful, please let me know…