Are You Using Your Backstage Wisely?

Hey Friend

The big news this week is that my son flew to Madrid for his study-abroad semester. We drove to Dallas on Tuesday to put him on a direct flight. One of his friends from school who is also spending the semester there was flying in from Houston to Dallas and was on his same flight. It was delayed four hours but they eventually got there. He’s staying with a family near downtown and loving it!

My other child also made quite a debut this week. She does not have natural singing abilities, but volunteered to be in the choir for her youth group at church. Her joy, confidence and fun spirit made the whole experience quite a delight. She regularly performs for us at home but we are not allowed to record it or take pictures. For her to let the world see her groovin’ chops was spectacular!

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I’m fairly certain the best contribution I’ve made to the world is playing a small part in bringing these two humans into it. Of course my wife gets primary credit, not just for carrying and delivering, but for providing smart parental guidance over the last two decades. I would think I was biased, but we consistently hear from other adults in our world who rave about my kids awesomeness.

If you parent, I suspect you experience similar – both in feelings of pride and receiving kind words from others.

It’s interesting, because we know all the behind-the-scenes challenges and “what they’re really like” at home. The intimacy and exposure is what the home is for – all guards down, no pretense, raw emotions and humanity, no filters, freedom to be, practicing independence, forging identity, our worst and best – kids and parents alike.

Home is backstage to the performance happening out front.
This week I’m headed to New Jersey. Fortunately, I get to make a trip into NYC to see David Byrne’s American Utopia playing on Broadway. I’m pretty pumped. I’ve seen some clips. The stage is wide open, clutter-free so the performers can move around unobstructed. I know though, just behind the curtain and out of site, lay instruments, cables, props, clothes and all kinds of elements that go into making the show a success.

We’re not actors or living in our own Truman Show, but we daily are sincerely performing. Being or becoming who we imagine ourselves to be, is an ongoing creative endeavor.

Are you effectively utilizing backstages?

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On stage/Off stage are not just two different physical spaces, but two mindsets. Knowing when to “turn it off” is not always easy for some of us. Having a clear distinction, gives our mind a chance to refresh. Are you able to distinguish usefully?

Extroverts and introverts both need alone time. Accessing a space to rejuvenate the soul is essential. Do you have a designated backstage in your backstage?

Even in a one-woman show, there are directors, producers, lighting, sound, grips, stage-hands and assistants all scurrying around behind the scenes. If we lack a support system – friends, family, mentors, coaches, accountability, protégés – people who help us be on when we’re on and are good with us when we’re off, we’ll struggle.

“Life is not a dress rehearsal” someone said and others quoted. However, if we aren’t adept at learning, practicing, trying before it’s needed, we won’t be needed. Oh the irony. What ongoing preparations do you rehearse consistently to be ready to be on stage?

The amount of tools and equipment required for any performance, will indicate how big that show will be. The resources we access and maximize similarly reflect our potential impact. What gear is required for you to be who you imagine yourself to be?

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For many reasons my life was set on a particular path my junior year of high school. One significant one was that I volunteered to work backstage at our high schools’ Winter Follies. Even though I was already living loud, I was drawn to be behind the scenes, not on the stage. I find enormous fulfillment creating a space that contributes to someone else getting to platform their gifts.

Though this current iteration of my calling appears to be “out front” my true motivation is our mission of #ShapingEnvironments, which in production-speak is #BuildingOthersPlatformsForThemToShineOn.

This has gotten a little long. I’ll forego my usual weekly prompts, as I inserted questions along the way. Please consider using your backstage wisely.

Also, I hope someday you get to cross paths with my kids. I’m certain your life will be better for it!

Did you ever perform in high school? Do you wish your kids would act at home how they do out in public? Are you intentional about being on and off? Do you have go-to resources that keep you growing? Whether you’ve been to Broadway or not, feel free to say Hello. 

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